depression May 23, 2004 ~ 10:38 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , trackback(Note: Mom, I know you’re reading this…I’m just saying it to get it off my chest. There is no need for an immediate phone call. There is no need for a phone call based on this at all.)
As everyone who isn’t reading this blog for the first time knows, I’ve been under mad stress lately. I’ve stopped taking my zoloft (I didn’t like what it was doing to my weight or my sex drive), and have no intentions of going back on it unless absolutely necessary. And maybe not even then. But this weekend, I had a few episodes with depressions/panic attacks. I think it was mainly stress-induced, although after reading Michael’s blog, maybe it was just the moon phase or something.
When I get like this, I don’t want to be around anyone. I almost got up and left Rick’s house about four times yesterday during the course of the day. Not because of anything he did, but because I just couldn’t handle being there. I had to focus on what I was doing, cos if I let my mind wander, I started thinking about how I wanted to be by myself, how I wanted to be anywhere but there. And that wouldn’t have been fair to the kids, who wanted me to hang out with them. Same thing happened today. Not as many times, not nearly as severe, but boy, did I want out. When I left, I walked. A lot. I walked from 75th and Broadway down to Broadway and E. Houston (that’s pronounced How-ston, kids, not like the city in Texas) - like 5 1/2 miles. Okay, maybe that’s not so far, but it was 85 degrees out and about 80% humdity. It was not a walk in the park…except for when I was walking through Central Park ;).
As you can see, I’m over it now. Everything’s fine again, it was probably just the stress. But I’m wondering, since a lot of us have depression fairly regularly, does anyone else get like this? Where you have to get out and away from other people, even if they’re people you love? Just curious.
Hey, and Breakfast Club is on AMC right now, if anyone feels like watching the extremely censored version. Ya know, somehow “Claire, how’d you like to see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the butt?” isn’t quite as effective. And please tell me why they felt the need to censor the line about the jock strap? I didn’t realize that “jock” was one of the seven dirty words…
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