I blame Kim and Aggie. August 28, 2007 ~ 10:34 am
Posted by Julie in : Reviews , trackbackSo lately I’ve been TiVoing a show on BBC America called “How Clean Is Your House?”. I greatly enjoy my BBC America and have been sucked into it for hours at a time watching “Cash in the Attic,” “Hex,” “Robin Hood,” and “Changing Rooms,” among other things, but this show is different. Rather than making me want to lounge around on the couch in my jim-jams, “How Clean Is Your House?” makes me feel the need to clean. A lot.
See, the basic premise is that two women, Kim and Aggie, are called into clean houses that people have let go past the point of no return. We are talking years of grime and crap here. And before they clean, Aggie takes swabs of the whole house so you know exactly what kind of bacteria these people have been living with. I have learned more about bacteria since I started watching this, and frankly, it’s horrifying. Your skin just crawls. And then you look around your house and start to wonder what bacteria are living with you. And then you must clean. Or I must, at any rate.
My place is generally pretty clean. Yeah, the cats tear fur out of each other and so I have to vacuum up the fur tumbleweeds every week. But aside from the office, there isn’t a lot of clutter, mostly because I don’t like looking at it (and that explains why the office is cluttered, since it is out of sight.). But, do I dust? Um, not so much. I use my Swiffer wet jet on the kitchen and bathroom floors, but I know that’s not deep cleaning them because the floors are old and dirt gets trapped in the crevices. And so last night, I went on a cleaning tear. I vacuumed. I dusted and polished the coffee table and cleaned out all the things that have been collecting there. I dusted the end tables. I scrubbed the toilet and bathroom sink (Kim has given me nightmares about things that lurk under the rims of toilets and I couldn’t rest until I’d cleaned mine). I cleaned out the toaster oven. And then, the piece de resistance, I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor. With a brush and some OxiClean. I couldn’t let it soak for as long as the can recommended because Freddie was way too intrigued by the whole process and I was afraid he would play in the water and then lick it off of himself and get good and ill, but it still got a fair amount of grime up. And when I went to sleep, my muscles ached. And I had nightmares about the crusty stuff in the microwave that I hadn’t cleaned. Guess what I’ll be cleaning tonight?
Comments
First of all, stop watching that show and watch Torchwood instead. I know it’s coming to BBC America soon. You’ll have fewer nightmares.
Second, if you insist on turning into a cleaning nut, come to my house and clean it as well. I’ll hire you out as a housecleaner/nanny. And I’ll treat you like a valued employee and not just the person that cleans my house.
Vince~Torchwood isn’t on until September 8. That’s 11 days from now. I have a countdown until I can watch it on TV instead of on YouTube, which is just a pain in the ass.
The question is, what will you pay me to relocate?
Did you watch Top Gear on BBCA last night? You should. It’s great! Rick might like it more than you though, but as I barely know either of you, I have no idea!
I suppose most of us live in blissful ignorance!
LOL I love BBC America. I’m not really into soaps but East Enders always sucked me in (originally got hooked on it when I lived in London). Oh and Changing Rooms - I loved that show…also loved looking at Lawrence as that man was certainly a “bit of alright”.
Unfortunately I don’t get BBCA at home so if I want to see it I have to go to my parents house. Hmm…I may have to give DirectTV another look and if hubby gives me any crap about it, I’m blaming it all on you! 
I also love Kim & Aggie. They actually came to America and did a few shows which aired on Lifetime last year I believe it was. Some of the places they went into were such complete dumps I was amazed that they were actually able to clean them up.
I’m not gonna lie, Jules, but I’m a little creeped out.
If you want to come down to atlanta and maybe do some cleaning here…I would not object! My place is Kim and Aggie’s NIGHTMARE!
Considering the cost of housing is way cheaper here than in NYC, I’d say that savings on the first two months rent should cover relocation costs.
Vince~Yes, but going there would put me closer to the Ex’s family. Which could kick the whole “My life should be a damn novel” factor up yet another notch. I will stay here.
ESC~I have seen your place. Kim and Aggie would not be squicked by it. You are fine. And Atlanta is hot. Maybe in November.
KtP~By the show or the fact that it has such a subliminal influence on me?
FD~Lawrence is the reason I watch “Changing Rooms” as well. He’s beautiful and flamboyant - I love that in a man (well, the ones I’m not dating, that is). And BBCA is just another reason why I loves my DirecTV. But now I’m bummed that I missed the US version of “How Clean…” - it apparently doesn’t air anymore.
Seamus~Be glad of that. If you knew what might be lurking in your kitchen, you’d never want to eat again.
Seth~You are such a guy. I saw the ads for Top Gear but ended up watching America’s Next Top Model on TiVo. I guess I’m “such a girl.”
A little of both, actually. And also by the fact that my house is probably teeming with bacteria. Oh, and by the fact that I’m okay with not knowing exactly how chockfull ‘teeming’ means.
Remind me not to watch that show. Sometimes I like to remain ignorant about the things in my house that might kill me.
[...] Rise and clean. Make Kim and Aggie proud by cleaning the grease off of the stove [...]