Ripping off the scab September 11, 2007 ~ 10:21 am
Posted by Julie in : About a Julz, In Da Hood , trackbackI reread all of my previous 9/11 blog entries this morning, and through them I realized how much of a journey I’ve taken in these past six years, from completely raw and emotionally bleeding to today, when I’ve shed a few tears, but have been able to deal rather well on the whole. (The fact that it’s raining helps a great deal on the first anniversary to actually fall on a Tuesday. If there was a blue, sunny sky, I might not be dealing so well.)
I wonder how much of it is that I was so, so young when 9/11 happened. That seems odd to say, since I’m not that old now, but 23 seems a lifetime ago to me, probably because of all the growing up the attacks forced me to do. I do see 9/11 as a defining moment in my life, a day when a lot of my innocence was stripped from me as we watched the planes hit, the Towers collapse, and waited to hear from all of my friends, many of whom were around the World Trade Center that day for one reason or another. Six years isn’t that long in the span of a human life, but in the aftermath of a traumatic event, it seems like forever. And at some moments, no time at all.
I’ve gotten used to politicians using my pain and the pain of everyone else who experienced it, lost a loved one, still has nightmares about it, etc. for their gain. I’ve become almost numb to it, because if I think about it too much, I will rip off their fucking heads and shit down their throats. (Yeah, I still have a lot of rage from that day as well.) But I am still not ready to relive it, which is the theme of the day. When I saw that MSNBC was going to be re-broadcasting the Today show from September 11, 2001, I almost threw up. They were billing it as “living history” or some such shit, and all I could think was “It’s not far enough removed to be history yet. It’s still personal.” It’s bad enough to watch video clips of the planes hitting the Towers, but to relive it? No thank you. It’s like taking hold of someone else’s half-healed scab and just yanking it off.
Since TV is obviously not safe to watch today, Julie will go home and spend the evening with a bit of wine, some Rock Hudson/Doris Day movies, and the spinning wheel, and leave my thin scab where it is. I’ll leave off with a video for the song that I will forever associate with the aftermath of September 11, since the classic rock radio station I listen to played it so often. This song has done more to heal me since that day than any other piece of music, and that’s saying something, since I relied heavily on music to get me through everything. John Lennon’s “Imagine.” Thank you, John.
Comments
I’m glad you’re still healing Julz.
That is disgusting of MSNBC.
I’ll never forget.
I’m surprised they’re doing that. Who can tolerate it? Yeah, it’s a Netflix night. Hang in there, Julz.
Hi Julie,
Have a good day today. I’ll be taking stock of how I keep tabs on the ones I love…do I know where they are? Would they know I loved them if something desperate happened? I hope so…
I also recall when I was 23 and thought I was so grown up then. 6 years makes a huge difference.
I emailed back and forth with a friend about how little has changed in the last 6 years and the aftermath of 9/11. It seems like only those that were close to the event (in NYC and elsewhere) are the only ones left that truly remember and feel it. Which is quite sad.
Along with your red wine and Rock Hudson/Doris Day movies, I might recommend Cary Grant and Gregory Peck. Get your hands on Charade if you can. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.
Take care.
Vince~If I could find “That Touch of Mink” on TV tonight, that would make me so happy. But I have a feeling that it’s not to be. Also, I agree with you 100% on the remembrance. I think that probably those who were displaced by Katrina feel the same way. If you lived an event, and I mean LIVED it, were directly affected by it, not just saw it on TV and maybe knew someone who lived in the area, you have that event with you forever.
Kendra~I think people would know. But I do know that I’ve been a lot more prone to tell people I love them and I miss them since 9/11. I guess that’s one good thing that came out of it.
Sloth~And the channel of Keith Olberman at that. What the hell.
Seth~Thanks.
I think it’s interesting that you mentioned that this is the first anniversary of 9/11 that falls on the actual day that it happened along with the weather. These were the first two things I thought of today and when I saw that it was a bright sunny day just like it was six years ago, I have to admit the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
You know, I can understand having memorials on this day but re-showing everything as though it’s happening all over again just makes me ill. Can the little media boys and girls get any more crass these days?
Enjoy your movies and wine. It’s the perfect plan to tell the “scabnabbers” to back the F off!
Ok, then I guess it makes me a bit sick and twisted that I watched some of it this morning before heading out. Or maybe a masochist, that might fit
That just sucks that they aired the original program running that day. I saw it then and freaked even tho I wasn’t anywhere near it. The aftermath hit my (then) area hard–finding terrorist cells in Detroit, watching the auto industry (and my then-fiance’s career) go down the tubes, all the hard times triggered in the area from that event… all just reminds me that even tho I got thru it and got to the other side now, I lost more than I would have thought I could have to that event. I still don’t write about it and don’t want to, so I sure as hell am glad I missed the TV programming today.
FD~You know that they can - it’s all about the media sensationalism these days.
Sparky~I can’t understand the draw, but if you got something out of it, then good for you.
Pandora~I’m glad September 11, 2007 is over.