Bathroom wars September 12, 2007 ~ 9:44 am
Posted by Julie in : Coupledom, Rick , trackbackRick puts toilet paper on the roll so that the end of the roll hangs down the back. I put toilet paper on the roll in the correct way, so that the end hangs down the front and is easy to access. When we’re at his house, I play by his rules and don’t say anything about the bass-ackwards way the toilet paper hangs, and at my house, he should respect my superior toilet paper replacement skills and leave well enough alone.
I came home the other night to find a new toilet paper roll had been placed on the holder, and after I was done with my business and replaced the damn thing correctly, I confronted the boy.
“Okay, one, who the hell taught you to replace toilet paper?” I asked, because subtlety has never been my strong suit, and maybe he didn’t know how much it irritated me before that. “The flap goes in the front. And two, did you not see that I stuck a four pack of toilet paper under the sink for you to use?” (This much was clear, he hadn’t. The stuff under the sink is our first foray into recycled toilet paper, and the stuff hanging on the roll was still Quilted Northern, obviously gotten from the hall closet.)
Rick gave me a “What are you talking about?” look and went back to fixing his tea. No more was said about it, and the next morning after he’d gone off to play golf, I find out the bastard has flipped the toilet paper again just to be contrary. I flipped it back, not to be contrary, but because it’s my house and I am right. And even if I weren’t right? It’s still my house. War is on, people, even if we laughed about it on the phone later.
And seriously, how do two people go through toilet paper so much faster than one person? Is there some obscure law of physics that covers this? What the hell?
Comments
This is a battle often waged in the house of kendraspondence. I agree with the superior method, but am often forgetful. The blows have subsided, though, now that we have his and hers bathrooms - the former being prone to mold BUT superior toity paper skills and the latter sweet-smelling and sometimes with inconvenient toity paper access.
That is funny that the boy went to the closet to fetch s’more and probably thought he was doing the good, dutiful thing.
Oh, I am so with you on the toilet paper! Luckily, in our house there is no toilet paper holder in one bathroom and the other is in such a ridiculously unhandy place, it usually just sits on the counter or on the back of the toilet. Problem solved. And no, the cat doesn’t mess with the toilet paper. She never has.
We’ve been fortunate in my household that the Wife and I agree on the toilet paper placement. So no battle over that. We have enough other battles to worry about.
I recommend that you change all the roll placement next time you’re at his place. And replace the rolls themselves with extra scratchy paper.
“And seriously, how do two people go through toilet paper so much faster than one person? Is there some obscure law of physics that covers this?”
Person 1 uses X amount of toilet paper. Person 2 uses Y amount.
Total usage = X + Y. Total usage > than X.
I believe it’s called addition.
Toilet paper usage is exponential. Therefore, two people will use 10x more toilet paper than 1 person.
It is a mystery of the universe.
And hey…your guy replaced toilet paper rolls without asking…AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING ABOUT IT????
sheesh!
Vince~Smartass. I know that I go through roughly a third of a roll of toilet paper a week. Suddenly, we are going through a whole roll a week. That’s not called addition, that’s called “Someone who isn’t Julie uses a lot of toilet paper.”
Grace~My cat’s do not mess with the tp on the holder, but I never say never where Freddie is involved.
Kendra~No, it was all about him. The only time he gets more is when *he* needs it. Typical man.
I’ve waged this battle for an unsuccessful eight and a half years now so the toliet paper is kept under lock and key where only I can get to it. lol Ok not really but as far as training men to put the stuff on the holder the right way - it’s damn near impossible. The only way around it is to be lucky enough to get one that had such rule bred into him. lol
And while were on pet peeves about the paper in the shitter….here’s mine:
For whatever reason (and I still have yet to get an actual viable explanation for this) if The Englishman pulls off one sheet more than he wishes to use, he will lay that sheet on top of the roll that’s left on the holder. I mean I’m not the type of person that likes to waste stuff but come on! One sheet of one-ply paper is worthless for any task - just throw the damn thing in before you flush. Now granted the next person could take it and gather it with a few other sheets, however, lots of times The Englishman lays it up there in a way that you don’t see it until it falls on the floor and well, even though the old ass crack isn’t the cleanest place on Earth, who wants to use a piece of TP from off the bathroom floor?
Here’s something sure to knock your socks off: I don’t care which way the toilet paper hangs. I used to, but then I got over it.
Just so long as it is replaced on the holder.
You are correct in your superior method.
Retro~Thank you for your support. It means a lot to hear a man admit this - I was starting to think it was a gender difference.
Aimee~Replaced is good. But hanging correctly? That’s awesome.
FD~I guess I should be glad that his mother bred into him the “leave the seat down” rule, as that’s more important, but still. And ask the Englishman how one determines that they have exactly *one* sheet too many. I’m curious.
Yes, definitely be glad he has the “seat down” rule bred into him. The Englishman does too, however, when I was living in England, I had a male roommate who had a difficult time with that concept (God how I felt for the chic who was going to marry him). Anyway, I got up one night to use to toilet and let’s just say that British potties tend provide a much longer fall. lol
As for the one sheet too many deal, I don’t even think he can explain it. The only thing I’ve been able to come up with is that it comes from his eating habits. No matter how much or how little he takes, he always leaves a bite worth of food left on the plate.
When it’s in the back, it’s further away. How does that make sense? You want the tp as close as possible, therefore on the FRONT of the roll. Some people.
J relies on me to put the tp on the roll. I guess she doesn’t care and I most certainly do.
Keep up the good fight Julie!
Seth~How can people not care??? There’s a right way, and then there’s a wrong way! (The front is also the right way because it rolls easier that way.)
FD~I fell into the toilet at my grandparents’ place when I was little and I’d gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to pee. I never forgave my grandfather for that one.
Toilet paper goes on the roll so that the side with the pretty picture is the one showing on the hangy-down piece, right?
Um… ok, time to sleep off the pain meds maybe?