The Tale of the Precariously Perched Porta-Potty May 30, 2004 ~ 2:39 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , trackbackI debated on writing this yesterday, but since I’m killing time till I go to Jordana’s, it’s funny, and I have no problems laughing at myself, I’ll post it today.
Yesterday, Rick and the girls wanted to ride the Pirate Ship at Coney Island. I had no desire to do so. I told them that I would go find a bathroom, then meet them back at the ride. Now, Coney Island rides are infamously long in duration. I guess they figure since they’re charging you mad amounts of money (the Pirate Ship was $3.50/person), they might as well make it worth the cash. So I figured I had a while to find a bathroom, but at the same time I wanted to get back and see if I could get some photos of the three of them on the ride. So I rush off to find a bathroom. Easier said than done.
I knew there was one at Nathan’s Famous, but I didn’t want to go all the way over there. So when I saw some porta-potties in a side street by the Freak Show (there’s a play title in that…), I decided to go there. I’d already been searching for what seemed like 5 minutes, and had a bad feeling they would be waiting for me when I got back, instead of vice versa.
Anyway, I slipped into the Porta-Potty to find that it (1) rocked back and forth rather alarmingly and (2) had no tp. No problem with the latter, I always have kleenex with me for allergies, so I had that part covered. But there was the rocking motion to contend with. It wasn’t so bad once I was in “hover position” (you ladies all know what I’m talking about). I guess the fulcrum was closer to the door. But there was still a little bit of motion, and with nothing clean to steady myself on, I had to rely on the door. So there I am, squatting, bracing myself against the door, and I realize that I don’t hear anything. No pee hitting water, to put it a bit crassly. However, there was no stopping, and I didn’t feel it on my skin, so I assumed I was safe.
When I was done, I checked my shorts just to make sure I hadn’t hit them, but they were dry. Must’ve been imagining things. I leave the porta-potty, and with my first step I realize where at least some of the pee had gone. Into my left sandal. Gross. I hadn’t felt it because my feet are very calloused. At least I think that’s why, I’m trying not to dwell on it. So I double checked my leg, etc., and see that it’s only in my sandal (Tevas, made for white water rafting, they don’t absorb much water at all). So I went to the nearest food vendor and bought a bottle of water to wash my sandal out with, and headed back to the Pirate Ship, where I was just in time to see the ride get started. All my rushing had been for nothing. Damn rocking porta-potties.
Needless to say, the sandals took a shower with me when I got home…
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