Team Edward

I have spent way more time than necessary trying to plan when I will see Twilight this weekend. Oh, that’s right, I’m going to fork over $12 to see Sparkly McVampire fly across the silver screen. Me and five million teenagers. Well, that’s where the planning comes in. What movie times will be least likely to have hordes of people? The movie is geared right at teens and tweens, and I have to work tomorrow when they’re in school (that was the best viewing option, and I did consider it, but the boss will be out and we can’t both be out at the same time). Then I thought “Okay, they’re all going to get their Edward on Friday night. And possibly Saturday night. So if they’re out all night and up until all hours, they will sleep until noon. Hell, I used to sleep until one when I was their age.” Obviously the best time over the weekend is thus Saturday morning. At least that’s what I’m planning on. And the small movie theater up the street from my house will be far less crowded than any place in Manhattan.

Do you see all the thought I have expended on this? Do you? If I would take this much time to think through my finances, I wouldn’t have credit card debt. If I would think this hard about world peace, we might have it by now. But no. I waste this brain power on vampire love stories in the Pacific Northwest. And I know at least two teenage girls who have done the same. Fear for America, people. We are the future.