Klumpy the Wonder-Post September 24, 2004 ~ 10:41 am
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , trackbackI know no one is going to comment on this morning’s Michael Moore post, but I felt compelled to put it out there. Call me a masochist. But I’m also a comment whore, so I’m writing a post that you will actually read and write about, saying “You’re a damn Yellow Dog Democrat, but you’re still pretty funny.” Or something like that.
So I just heard on the radio that the Humane Society has decided grapes and raisins are bad to feed to dogs. Apparently they’re toxic and can cause vomiting, kidney failure, and death. Right up there with chocolate, onions, and aspirin (or was it Tylenol) as “Things that will kill your dog, you dumb shit not-responsible-enough-to-be-a-dog-owner”. I know I gave the Fruit Bat (there’s an archive post about my golden retriever somewhere, but I don’t know how to link to it) grapes at least once in her life, possibly more than once. Because it was funny to watch her try to eat a round slippery fruit. She couldn’t wrap those doggie lips around it, so she’d spit it out, give it the evil eye for having the nerve to jump out of her mouth, because that’s what happened, obviously, and try again, and again, and again. And finally a tooth would perforate it and she’d manage to eat it. And then she’d look at me and beg for another because she was such a clever dog that she could eat jumping foods, sis. (Words in bold are Brandy the Fruit Bat’s thoughts. Clearly.) So I gave her more. It was funny. And we didn’t know they were bad for her. I also fed her fried wontons from the Chinese restaurant. And cheese. And don’t even get me started on the time I threw lunchmeat into her water bowl by virtue of bad aim, and she dove in after it to get that turkey! and little bubbles came out of her nose the whole way to the bottom of the bowl like she was snorkeling. Because of course I had to throw more turkey in there, because snorkeling dogs are funny, dammit!
What I’m trying to say is, so what if grapes are bad for your dog? No, not really. But my dog ate a bunch of crap she shouldn’t have (including a Brillo pad), and she made it to the ripe old age of 15. And the Dumbest Dog On Earth (surprisingly, not my Fruit Bat, but Rick’s kids’ dog, Rosie) once ate an entire bag of sugar free Reeses’ miniature peanut butter cups that a dieting aunt had left out, and although she puked a bit, she’s still alive. So maybe what I’m trying to say is this: Dogs. A lot tougher than you’d think. Hell, if dogs have survived until now with stupid humans feeding them grapes, I think they’ll be just fine.
This was going to be a clump post with many different things in it. Unfortunately, I got stuck on stories about dogs. But I like the title too much to change it. So deal.
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