Discontented April 21, 2005 ~ 2:35 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , trackback
More snow. Because that’s what I have pictures of. Woodstock, NY.
I think that’s the best word for how I feel right now. Discontented. As in, not content. I am not content because I am in rehearsal for the next two weeks, so I leave my house at 8:20 (on a good day) and don’t get home till 11:30 PM. I can’t enjoy the rehearsal process as much as I should be because my day job is taking so much out of me. Every two seconds, someone is asking me a question, and while I’m trying to just roll with it, I spend the day getting more and more pissed off at people. I feel as if I don’t have time to breathe; even when I’m home, I have to make sure Jesse gets his medicine, which always involves a fight that takes more energy out from me.
I’m trying to save money, so I’ve been bringing my lunch and dinner from home this week. That basically means a sandwich, applesauce, a fruit cup, and some pretzels for lunch, and either ramen or Diny Moore beef stew for lunch. I resent not being able to choose exactly what I want to eat, even though I know I am saving a lot of money. Because of this, I can’t remember the last meal I actually enjoyed. I would make pasta or something good to eat that isn’t ramen, except when I get home at night and fight Jesse to take his medicine, I don’t even have the energy to cook.
I’m getting emails from MoveOn.org and various Democrats, telling me to call my Senators and blanket my neighborhood with fliers about the Nuclear Option. And while I want to, I don’t have time. So that’s one more thing tugging at me.
I was at Rick’s last night, the first time I’ve seen him since this weekend, and while we did manage to “convene the procedure” (as Dooce would say) a couple of times, I didn’t feel like we had any time to just hang out, chill, and talk. And when we talk on the phone during the day, I am invariably working and not really able to just chat. I miss just being able to spend time with him, without feeling rushed or tired. And I’m irritated that I can’t have that connection when I most want it.
Maybe that’s it. I’ve gone through the last four days feeling both rushed and tired, which makes me more irritated than a pair of sandals that constantly chafe your feet. I’m being rubbed raw by circumstances beyond my control.
At least tomorrow is Friday. That means that on Saturday and Sunday I only have to concentrate on one job - rehearsal. That will be nice.
Comments
Sorry comments are closed for this entry