Hello, I’m a revisionist. November 22, 2005 ~ 10:55 am
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , trackback
At least according to Darth Cheney and President Asshat I am. Frankly, I’m a little insulted by this. If I were going to revise history, I’d be rewriting other things. Perhaps since it’s November 22, I’d revise the findings of the Warren Commission on the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Or maybe I’d start small and revise the ending of Sunday’s Steelers/Ravens debacle. And my revisions would be a hell of a lot more believable than “Ooooh, Sadam Hussein is connected to 9/11.” For Chrissakes, when that happened, how many of us believed it? Probably as many as believe it now. If you’re going to have spin, at least make sure it’s good spin. But if the best writer the White House can offer us is Scooter Libby, I guess the Sadam angle was really the best they could come up with. Maybe Sadam gets fucked by a bear, too. A bear with a WMD.
Contract negotiations for my union roll on (involving neither bears nor WMDs), and although we’re told it’s getting better, we’re also told there are no guarantees. So I’ve decided “Fuck it.” That’s right, fuck it. Christmas is not a time to be depressed about what you can’t afford, it’s a time to reach out and give what you can. What I can do is send out Christmas cards to the blogoverse, like I did last year. So here’s your invite. If you want a Christmas card (bear in mind…ha! I said “bear”!…that they will probably be discount cards from Rite Aid), I will send you one. All you have to do, dear blog friend, is email me your address at the address in the side bar. If you would like to send me a Christmas card, I would love that. Email me and ask for my address and I will give it to you. From what I know if you all, you are not serial killers, and if by some chance you are, my landlady has a big dog who will eat you if you try to kill us. So there.
And now, a funny landlady story, because we haven’t had enough funny stories here of late. A couple of weeks ago, my landlady came up with the radiator repair guy to fix the radiator in my room. I was on the phone with Rick when they came up, and was not paying much attention to them because of that. My landlady takes care of the cats for me sometimes when I go away, and was playing with Jesse while Joe hid. I hear her ask where Joe is and flush him out of his hiding spot under the couch. He runs in to see her, and suddenly I hear her say to him, “Hey, Joe! How are you? Remember that time when you bit me?” Yep, that’s what I want to hear. My cat has mauled my landlady in the past. Greaaat. They both seem to have gotten past that, though, so we can all breathe a sigh of relief. Stoopid cat.
Perhaps you had to be there for that to be funny. In that case…Republican bear porn! Always good for a laugh, right?
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