Pet PEEves February 23, 2006 ~ 12:51 pm
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey, Rants , trackback
Stars, Time Warner Center
One of the “perks” of my office is that we have our own bathroom. All the rest of the offices in this building, with the possible exception of the President’s Office, are bathroom-less. They have to go out and use the public bathrooms with the students.
Sounds like my office has a good deal going, doesn’t it? Until you figure out that there are about twenty of us in this office and the bathroom has one toilet. I imagine it’s a lot like what large families with one bathroom go through. If someone is in our bathroom, we wait in line, because no one wants to use the public bathrooms - they’re gnasty. But unlike a large family, I can’t get everyone together and have a Come to Jesus talk about how we keep the bathroom clean because we are not animals. That’s why I have a blog, so I can vent.
Come To Jesus, People. In no particular order, the list of bathroom rules that my co-workers’ families should have taught them:
- Don’t pee on the seat. Come ON, didn’t your mother teach you this?
- If you are a little monkey and pee on the seat, WIPE IT UP. Don’t leave your pee droplets on the seat for the next unsuspecting bathroom user to sit in, you gnasty little animal!
- If you decide that you are going to lift the seat and pee like a boy even though you’re a girl, remember to put the seat back down. Just because you wanted to put your fingers on toilet seat does not mean I want to.
- For the love of all that is holy, FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET! I don’t want to see any evidence of your last meal or the fact that you’re on the rag when I go to the bathroom. That is too much information for me. I don’t talk to you outside of work, what makes you think that I want to know this much about you?
- If you leave a log, drop an otter, bake some brownies, whatever you want to call it, use the air freshener. It’s sitting on the sink for a reason, and you’ve just left that reason behind. There is no reason the next person in has to gag on the stench.
I am not paid enough to go through this once, let alone several times a week. We’re all adults, aren’t we? If my mother could drill good bathroom etiquette into my head at a young age, why the hell couldn’t yours?
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