The Difference Between Men & Women, #6,038,750 April 19, 2006 ~ 9:56 am
Posted by Julie in : Coupledom, In Da Hood, Rick , trackbackThis morning, Rick related a story that his friend had told him. Said friend was in Central Park playing guitar last week, and had gathered a small crowd of cute 18 and 19 year old girls. Friend told Rick that they set off his AMS - Automatic Masturbatory Syndrome. (Okay, I’m pretty sure those weren’t the exact letters, but you get the general drift.)
Julie: Is that really what men think of when they see 18 or 19 year old girls?
Rick: For the first few seconds, yeah. You think that it would be nice for them to be all over you.
Julie: Really? Because when I look at an 18 or 19 year old boy, I think “Jesus, this is going to be awful, because he and his friends will start shouting at each other to prove how cool they are, and I’m going to have to sit on my hands so I don’t slap one of them upside the head and tell him to shut the fuck up.”
Rick: Well, it’s only for a second that men think about sex, then we remember that teenagers are annoying.
Julie: Yeah, see, I don’t even have that first second. Maybe it’s just me.
Also, it could just be me in New York City, where the teenagers behave as if they were raised by wolves and never ever ever shut up on public transportation. Because Rick and I both agreed that if we had acted like these kids do when we were growing up in Western PA, someone’s parents would have found out, and every kid in the group’s asses would have been grass. Sometimes I miss that “It takes a village” mentality. Especially when my hand is itching to slap a high schooler on the bus.
Comments
A teen is a teen - they are all annoying most of the time! It’s their job and they are good at it - otherwise why would they ever leave home?
For teens today, life is a stage. They have to be the star I guess. Annoying is right. Thankfully our town is small enough that info still flows freely down the parental pipeline.
I also can’t look at an 18-19 yr. old guy and think sex. Kinda creeps me out that guys can actually.
Lois Lane
although ….. is it a sign of old age when you start thinking teenagers are loud?
Have you seen the way teenagers dress today!?
Teenagers are so obnoxious (and, frankly, terrifying) because the part of their brains that processes the concept of CONSEQUENCES hasn’t fully formed yet. So not only are they unbearably insecure and hormonal, they’re physically incapable of comprehending the results of their actions.
Fuckin’ yikes.
My AMS has been triggered by a cute boy or two who could only have been barely legal. I always feel like I need to either take a shower or see my therapist when that happens. Then my inner Samantha goes, “Oh, who gives a shit?? You’re so uptight! He’s got great biceps and no idea what to do with them!”
She soothes me.
I couldn’t even have a smoke on a street corner without someone calling my mom. Boy, was I good at weasling out of things.
You’re not alone. The majority of them tend to piss me off too. I just like to think it’s because as women, we are the smarter of the two sexes and the mother in all of us refuses to put up with kiddie bullshit. As the old threat goes….”I brought you into this world and I can take you out!” lol
I see an 18 or 19 year old guy and think, mmmm. Then I remember I’m 30, and it borders on disgusting, and when I was younger, I would have BABYSAT them…
THEN I think about how annoying they are.
THENNNN I think.. well, I could kick them out of bed when I was done?
I look at guys that young and think, “Oh, the things I could teach you instead it will be that hot bitch with the perky tits, no stretch marks, and the belly button ring.” *Sighhhhhhh*
ummm…
*squeeze*
Nanner~I don’t have perky tits, but I do have a belly button ring. But I still wouldn’t teach young guys anything. Although maybe if you get them that young, you can train them to act like you want them to…
Jamie~Gah, 18 year-olds were born in 1988! How is that possible? And yes, you could kick them out of bed when you were done, because they would not understand the concept of “cuddling.”
FD~My bullshit acceptance meter is very low. I think that’s the problem: low bullshit acceptance meter + small enclosed space of MTA bus = bitch slap to teenager’s head.
E-Lo~Yep, sounds like my mom. One afternoon I crossed the street to get some candy with the older kids, and when I got home, she knew about it because one of her friends had called her. And this was in the days BEFORE cell phones. My ass was grass, and mom was the lawnmower.
Sloth~I think everyone should have an inner Samantha. Unfortunately, my inner Miranda speaks louder. She makes me aggressive.
Esther~Yes. In jammie pants and Timberlands. Scary.
Lois~See, sometimes small towns are good. And I agree, men in the “Lolita” frame of mind creep me out.
Seamus~Because we kick them out? That’s a good reason for them to leave home.
ESC~*squeeze*!