I’m packin’ August 22, 2006 ~ 11:59 am
Posted by Julie in : Da Cats, Random Insanity , trackbackI slept with a squirt bottle last night. You know, one of those little bottles with the spray trigger on it that you use to mist plants? Yeah, well in my house we use the “Stream” setting and use it to spray misbehaving cats. It only actually works on Joe, since Jesse loves water in all its forms and will more often than not lick the spot on his fur where you have sprayed him and then give you his best “Please, sir, can I have some more?” look. I also, in a moment of complete stupidity, taught him how to drink from the spray bottle. This means I can no longer leave the bottle where he can get to it because he will wrap his paw around the trigger and try desperately to get the thing to spray into his mouth. Not having opposable thumbs sucks.
So that is part of why I was sleeping with the bottle. The other part is that my windows were closed last night because they were spraying for West Nile in my neighborhood. I have lost a gecko to this city’s annoying habit of not telling me exactly when they were going to spray, I wasn’t about to lose the Defecto-Kitties to whatever pesticide rains down from the sky. Joe was singularly unimpressed by this logic and spent most of the night trying to get through the venetian blinds to where the window (in his mind) should have been open. My only option was to spray him.
Basically, I’m trying to say that this is how my night went:
rustle, rustle, rustle
“Joe, get away from that blind!”
spray
thud
“No, Jesse. Get off of me. We’re not playing with the water bottle tonight.”
rustle, rustle, rustle
Rinse and repeat, ad nauseum. Actually, this reminds me of one of my favorite politically incorrect jokes: “What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell.” Get it? Rustle! Yeah, it’s much better when I work up to the punchline.
Comments
I LOVE A Book Named Bob! Didn’t they do a Family Guy episode where there was an investigatory team of armless/legless guys? Art hung on the wall, Bob was out in the water, etc.
It also reminds of a bad joke about the armless/legless girl in a wheelchair crying on the end of a pier. A guy walks up and asked her why she’s crying. She says she’d never been kissed. So the guy kisses her. She’s still crying. He asks what’s wrong. She says she’s never been fucked. So he throws her in the water and says, “There, now you’re fucked.”
Sounds like a good time with the kitties!
I’m glad to know that I’mnot the only one that has to deal with the blinds thing with cats.
Tool made a point to practically destroy mine, so the dust collecting blinds have been disappering out of each room as it gets re-done. I suppose in a weird way it’s a blessing in disguise as I hate washing blinds. Windows I can deal with, curtains are simple enough as long as they don’t need to be dry cleaned, but blinds….Yuck!
I think I’ve heard my allergies saying “Thank you for getting rid of those stupid things! When are the ceiling fans going?”
Our cats promptly destroyed the blinds in front of the living room window. Now there are curtains.
I swear he’s the first cat to ever like water. Ours hate it. But they still jump on the counter.
So the cats sit on the windowsill or balcony or fire escape? I think ours would try something daring and stupid. Maybe not.
*chuckle* The spray bottle thing usually works well, so does throwing oranges at them.
For years I’ve been a cat person, at one stage having 13 or 14. About 3 years ago I got my dogs and now I have to say my dogs are less effort than my cats, or snakes. Then again, fish are the easiest. With the dogs it does help that they have a big garden to run around in and they are most definately outside dogs.
We do this dance with three cats and two squirt bottles, except it’s the fighting each other at 3 am that I could do without.
You just gave me a great idea! I will bring a squirt bottle with me at night to bed, so when I get thirsty I can drink cranberry juice or something.
I sleep with a squirt bottle every night, because inevitably at some point during the night one of my 3 cats will do something that they’re not supposed to that wakes me up and the only way I’ll get peace is if they get a little bit wet and run out of the bedroom to “lick their wounds” then come back and go back to sleep.
it’s to the point now where gus just has to see it or hear the water when I shake it, and that’s enough. 
LOL! I didn’t know cats were so obsessed with blinds.
Ally da Pup’s new thing is her rawhide bone. She only likes to chew after the lights go out. Preferably chomping on it by my bed. For many, many hours. I finally took it away from her the other night and she was NOT happy. At 3am, neither was I
Lisa~Cats are obsessed with lots of things. I’m pretty sure that’s where we get the saying “Curiosity killed the cat,” because they’re always into *something*. And rawhide chewing noises are NOT one of the things I miss about not having a dog. That noise sets my teeth on edge!
Leenie~Joe does the same thing as Gus. If he hears it, that’s enough to send him running. Jesse runs when he hears it, too - towards it!!
Mrs. M~Certainly less chance of spillage with a squirt bottle than a glass!
Esther~I am convinced that dogs are easier for two reasons: You can train them, and they can’t jump around the room on top of all the furniture. Cats. *sigh*
Seth~Rick used to have a cat that liked water. But they are definitely an anomaly. And the cats sit on the windowsill, but there is a screen between them and the outside world - must protect the pigeons and squirrels, after all.
Stacy~It’s weird, I’ve never had a problem with Joe and the blinds before, but since the windows have been open most of the summer, he seems to think they should always be and he should always have access to the windowsill. And even if there are blinds and, say, a window in his way, he’s still going to find a way to get there!
Vince~I like that one, too.
And don’t forget Matt on the doorstep!