Here is where I admit a shocking secret. January 23, 2007 ~ 4:21 pm
Posted by Julie in : About a Julz, Rants , trackbackBaseball bores me to tears, people. I know, you’re all sitting their clutching your chests in horror. And if you’re not doing that, you’re scratching your head and thinking “What the hell brought this revelation on?” It was that song “Put Me In, Coach” or whatever it’s called, which was just on the radio. Don’t get me wrong, I like the song. It just got me to thinking about baseball. And baseball? Peeps, methinks it’s overrated.
“But Julie,” you say, “don’t you wear a BoSox cap all spring, summer, and fall?” Indeed I do. I have worn my Red Sox hat so much that it is fading to a nondescript grey color. But I don’t wear it out of fandom so much as for a purpose: to piss off Yankees fans. And it works, too, so hey, mission accomplished.
“But Julie,” you try again, “didn’t you cheer for the Red Sox when they won the World Series? Don’t you actually cheer for them every year?” Why yes, yes I do. For several reasons. One, I hate the Yankees. I think it’s unfair that some teams get to go out and buy all the talent they want, while others just can’t afford to (I have that same problem with Asshat and his friends, actually). I think the Yankees have entitlement issues. Yes, you’ve won a shitload of World Serieses (Serie?), but that doesn’t mean shit when you have bought all the talent available while the other teams are just makin’ due with what they have - see previous reason why I hate them. But I also like the Sox because Terry Francona manages them, and Terry is from my hometown. I actually went to school with Terry’s nephew. Beaver County, represent! I also have a fondness for Tim Wakefield. I saw Tim’s major league debut with the Pirates and had a crush on him…he was a lot cuter in those days. I’ve been loyal to him ever since. Loyalty to a cute player who had some tough breaks in his early career does not a baseball fan make.
“But Julie,” you say, sensing an opening, “you just said you were at Tim Wakefield’s major league debut! That means you’ve gone to baseball games.” Yes, it does. Does it say I was paying attention when I was there? No. When I was in high school, Pirate games were cheap and a great way to play hooky from band camp. However, we spent most of the game bullshitting in the seats, catching rays, and trying to attract the Pirate Parrot. Mascots are fun. Since I’ve moved to New York, I’ve been to a couple of Met games as well. I generally spend them drinking beer and bothering Rick.
“So what the hell is your problem with baseball???” you finally yell, completely exasperated. Glad you asked. Baseball doesn’t move fast enough and is way too civilized for me. I like games like hockey, football, soccer. Games where things can change in an instant - a fumble or a puck intercepted and someone else has the chance to score. There is none of this “taking turns” bullshit in soccer, no “you send three guys up to try to score and then we will” in football. There is only a lot of blood, sweat, and struggle. The only time I really see that in baseball is when once in a blue moon the bleachers clear and everyone starts fighting. I enjoy baseball on those rare occasions.
Yes, I understand that baseball players have to be somewhat decent athletes to hit the ball as far as they do, or to make sliding catches, or make a double play. But it’s just not exciting to me. Give me a soccer player making a run down the field and kicking a ball *thisclose* to the goal. Give me a hockey player skating like a bat out of hell down the rink, coming around the back of the net, and shooting a goal through a tiny gap between the goalie’s legs. Give me a football player going those last five yards into the endzone with three other guys on his back trying to drag him down before he gets a touchdown. Compared with all that? A homerun is just anticlimactic.
Plus, it’s just really fucking cool that blood and puke bounce on ice.
Comments
Psst…it’s FOOTBALL season.
Fooooooooooooooooooooooot. Bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwllllllllllll.
Katey~ I know. But football season is almost over - just one more game. And we’re back into baseball before you know it.
I used to play hockey.
That’s really all I have to add.
I like to share.
I HATE baseball.
xo
ES
That song? Centerfield by John Fogerty
Don’t feel bad. I find baseball immensely boring as well. I enjoy being at baseball games, but that’s more about being out with the boys and enjoying food and family time. The game is totally dull. I could never watch it on TV.
And Kate is right. It is football season. But not the stuff you see on Sundays on Fox or CBS. It’s football season on FSC (Fox Soccer Channel). Yes, the REAL football. I’m hooked on EPL (English Premier League) games. 3 on Saturday, 2 on Sunday, non-stop action. Even the Wife, how previously hated the game, is now yelling at the TV when the offense is being stupid.
We also like going to hockey games with the boys. Cause what boy doesn’t like barely organized violence?
Vince~Oooh, I wonder if I get FSC? Because Sheffield United is apparently in the Premiere League now. And if I can’t watch my beloved Sheffield Wednesday (who aren’t Premiere League, I’d like to watch the Blades. (I also like barely organized violence.)
Serra~THANK YOU! That was really bugging me.
Evil Scout~Me, too.
Retro~I played intramural floor hockey in college. My team was the college champ three years running. They gave us beer steins as trophies, but for some reason I can only find two of them. I like to share, too.
wow, you actually still watch hockey????
Though I get the baseball thing, you do still have ties to Pittsburgh and they havent had a team there in like what 15 years?
Sparky~I don’t watch it on a regular basis, but I enjoy it when I come across it. When I was in high school, Pittsburgh hockey was in its glory days and I was hooked.
Terry Francona? He’s awesome! He coached the Aguilas in the Dominican Republic winter league and also the Barons in Birmingham. He actually won the Dominican championship in ‘95-’96!
I do enjoy going to games but just for the stadiums. If they offered discounted food and entertainment when there wasn’t a baseball game, I’d go then.
Oh, and I REALLLLLLLY want FSC.
Seth~I like the stadiums, too. It’s about the atmosphere for me, not so much the sport.