Helium head June 6, 2007 ~ 10:56 am
Posted by Julie in : About a Julz, Academic Office Monkey , comments closedI’m on Mucinex and Cefr…Cefr..oh, I don’t know what the hell it is, just that it’s an antibiotic, it’s blue, it tastes like crap, and it’s the size of my apartment. The combination seems to be routing my sinus infection, though, which is great. I was really tired of the smell of mildew in my nose. And the collection of boogers that I’ve acquired in my left nostril. And blowing chunks of crap out my nose every morning. All of that has ceased, mostly. I’m definitely on the mend.
Except that this little drug combo I’ve got going on has left me feeling like my head is packed full of cotton. I don’t mind it, really. It’s made my work days much more relaxed as frankly I don’t give a crap what my co-workers are up to. I can even tune out their squabbling with little effort. And time seems to stretch out like you wouldn’t believe. Last evening was the longest evening ever - I made dinner, watched an episode of Hex, two episodes of Little People, Big World, talked to my mom, Rick, and Jordana on the phone, played around on the computer, and had a glass of wine, and was still in bed by 11:30. I have either been mismanaging my time my entire life (quite possible) or I entered a time warp last night. Either way, it was awesome.
I know, some people hate the floaty feeling brought on by colds and sinus infections. I kinda like them. It’s like being high, but in a legal and legit sense. While I could get fired for coming to my job stoned by any other substance, hey, prescription drugs are just fine! Woohoo! Bring on the audits!
Uh, yeah. I’ll go now.
Quite possibly the best thank you ever May 17, 2007 ~ 1:21 pm
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey , comments closedI just got off the phone with a student who is almost done with his requirements. I have spoken to this student before and he is very sweet with a heavy Russian accent. When I told him that he would in fact be graduating, he says to me “Okay, you the best, Julie, I love you!”
Things like that make being an academic office monkey worthwhile.
“Oh, Abigail, Abigail, I have such a desire to knock heads together!” April 25, 2007 ~ 10:31 am
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey , comments closedThat’s a line from the musical 1776. John Adams is writing to his wife about his frustrations with Congress. I say it in my head many many time a day in reference to my frustrations with the people I work with.
- Yesterday I had six lists of candidates for graduation that needed proofed and sent to Faculty Council, who approves them. The six lists combined to about 1,500 names. It took the undergrad auditors all day to proof their three lists. It took me roughly an hour to get my three done. I need to figure out what the hell they are doing that’s taking so long. I was left with exactly one and a half hours to do six cover sheets with different info, make all changes to the lists, put everything together and send them out. And I did it. Almost killed myself doing it, but I did it.
- Yesterday a woman in my office also actually told a student how to subvert the system. When I heard it (yep, she did it with me in the room), I went over to her and rained all over her parade. She has a fucking script (a set of FAQs) and all she has to do is read from it. Appparently that was too hard for her. Her defense, “Well, I figured it was just common sense, what I told him.” Yeah, it’s common sense. And when the higher ups hear that someone in my office advised a student to do it? We’re toast. I’m all for sticking it to the man, but when you’re the man, you don’t stick it to yourself. Let the students figure it out on their own and don’t help them. I told her that if that was the direction her “figuring” led her, that she should stop thinking. And no, she is not new or young. She’s about 70 and has worked here for at least ten years. She should know better. Gah!
- This morning, everyone keeps throwing crap on my desk. And I just say “Okay, this will happen this afternoon. This morning I am catching up on everything I got Monday and yesterday when I was working on the lists.” “Okay, this will happen tomorrow. Still working on yesterday’s stuff.” And my staff is getting disgruntled about this, because obviously what they are giving me needs to happen now. Sorry, no. The President’s Office gets what they wanted first. The Publications crew gets what they wanted next. Tell the student to call us back later, and we will handle it.
I cannot wait until June1, when all of this is behind us.
I need some crack April 18, 2007 ~ 11:27 am
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey, Urban Family , comments closedIcepick season is in full swing. I have a pile of audits to do on my desk, but can’t get to them because I have to proof audits I’ve already done so they can go on the list of candidates for graduation that I have to get together for Tuesday. I spent the morning compiling another list of students who have filed for graduation so that they can be put into a ticket distribution list for Commencement. And I have to basically herd cats to make sure my undergraduate auditors are where they need to be in their proofreading. Oh, the stories I could tell about that, but I just don’t have the time.
I’ve got a meeting with a playwright this evening and then I am supposed to head to Stitch n Bitch, but I might just go home and do some baking for the baby shower that’s this weekend. It’s a non-traditional shower, more like a birthday party for the little one who hasn’t been born yet, and as godmother I really need to get on the ball with it. I’m in charge of desserts and munchies. This basically means I will be stopping at the grocery store and getting a few box mixes and some cookie dough. And crackers and cheese and hummus and nuts. Because that’s my idea of a party, dammit.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m already exhausted. Wednesday, hell, it’s only mid-April and Commencement isn’t until May 31. I might just die.
“Drop the hammer.” March 22, 2007 ~ 1:51 pm
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey, Random Insanity , comments closedIt’s crazy around here lately. And by “here” I mean “in that space called my life.” I call this time of year at work Icepick Season, because I am driven so insane by the number of phone calls, audits, and other demands on my time that an icepick to the skull seems preferable some days. Yesterday I did 50 audits and sent in corrections to the Commencement Program to Publications.
And that’s work. On the home side, I’m still waiting to adopt the Feline Formerly Known As Malik (FFKM). I am going into rehearsals this weekend. I am meeting up with a dear friend from grad school who is in town for a few days. I am trying to meet up with another playwright I work with. I am getting the house cleaned, both for FFKM and for mom, who will be visiting in a few weeks, and for another classified-for-the-moment reason. I am trying to keep my exercise routine in place. I’m trying to plan Jordana’s baby shower. I’m learning how to deal with my TMJ.
Yeah, really what I’m doing is trying not to lose my mind at this point. Wish me luck in that endeavor.
So…if I haven’t commented, emailed, called, contacted you in any way, shape, or form? Forgive me. I will come out the other side of all of this victorious. I always do. It just might take a while. Now excuse me, my audit count is only 25 for today and I really have to work on that.
Lists March 19, 2007 ~ 4:12 pm
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey, Coupledom, Drama Queen, Rick, The Girls , comments closedAccomplished:
- made friends with Maynard the cat.
- bowled 104. Followed by a shite 80. Win some, lose some.
- set land speed record on a toboggan with Youngest.
- several chats with Rick’s mom.
- much quality time with my Weet Boy.
To Do:
- grocery shopping
- laundry
- clean apartment
- cat proof bathroom
- pick up new cat friend for Joe
- go to reading
- print out final draft of script for rehearsals this weekend
- spend more time with Rick
At Work:
-five million degree audits
-don’t kill stupid students asking the same question over and over again
-list of June candidates for graduation to Publications
-list of candidates for Retroactive graduation to Faculty Council
-get set for the six massive lists that go to Faculty Council next month
-proof galleys for Commencement program for Publications
-answer questions Publications has about said galleys
-don’t kill stupid students calling all day long about degree audits I haven’t been able to finish because of stupid phone calls
Touched by a… March 8, 2007 ~ 5:00 pm
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey , comments closedLotsa crap going on here, too much to write about at the moment. So instead I’ll leave you with a funny story.
My office and two others share a small bathroom, which is far superior to going down the hall and using the one that the students destroy. Today, the bulb in the bathroom burned out and we called Facilities to get the bulb changed. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a fluorescent bulb and have to special order one for us. So in the meantime the guy installed a spotlight - the kind you might put on your front porch, for instance. He said that in addition to lighting the room, it would also be good “for warming purposes.” And that started every spotlight line in the universe.
“Wow, I never realized the water was so sparkling and clear!” exclaimed one of my coworkers.
“After looking in the mirror in there, I think I need to get my teeth whitened,” another said.
“Can’t keep out of the spotlight?” I was asked as I made another trip in. In my defense, I’d had three 24 oz. bottles of water.
“Yeah. My hair just looks so gorgeous in it!” I gushed. “It’s like having your very own Touched By an Angel light!” And then I thought about it. In the work bathroom, maybe it’s best not to be touched by anyone. Even an angel. Because ew. Bring on the fluorescent bulb, guys. I’m about ready to relinquish my spot on the bathroom stage.
V. good V-Day. February 15, 2007 ~ 11:29 am
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey, Coupledom, Rick , comments closedYesterday when I came into work, braving sleet, ice, snow, and crowded MTA transportation, I was greeted with “Boy am I glad to see you!”. That sounds sweet, doesn’t it? Yeah, not so much. They were glad to see me because while I was gone, one of my staff came down with a stomach virus, another got bronchitis and her husband got penumonia, and a third passed out at work with some undiagnosed illness that even the hospital threw its hands up at. Oh, and a fourth, who is 76 years old, was going to be late because she had to wait for her super to be able to escort her to work - the sidewalks were slippery, so I didn’t blame her.
So that left me and two part timers to deal with the flood of students who called and came in. Good times.
When five o’clock finally came around and I was able to catch the train to Rick’s house, there were all sorts of delays. First, there were other trains in front of us. Then the story changed to say that there had been a power outage on the line because of the snow. Then they were going to route us up the East Side line. Then everything was fine and we were back on the regular line. All told, I was on the subway for an hour and a half when I can generally make it from work to Rick’s in 50 minutes. Grrr.
But when I finally got there, all the tension from the day melted away. We cracked open some wine, Rick made a wonderful dinner, there were gifts, there was shagging, there was dessert, and I got to spend time with my boy, the best boyfriend on the planet. In the end, yesterday was a very good day.
And today, the stomach virus victim is back to work, so there are four of us in the office. Hooray!
Why is it? February 8, 2007 ~ 12:37 pm
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey , comments closedWhy is it that when I don’t have to go to work, even the tasks that I’ve been dreading the most (reogranizing the hall closet, cleaning up the pantry cupboard, cleaning in general) seem easy? I’ve been avoiding these things on weekends for over a month now because I just couldn’t deal with them. Yet because I don’t have to go to work today (or tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that, or the day after that, or even the day after that!), I’m suddenly full of energy and ready to do some serious redding up of the house. What the hell is with that?
I’m also helping a friend pack up her apartment this afternoon and actually looking forward to it. Well, I’ll miss her when she moves, but I don’t mind the thought of spending the afternoon engaged in manual labor awful. Perhaps not my first choice for the first day of vacation, but it’s not bothering me at all.
I don’t hate my job by any means, but I think these are all signs that I definitely needed a vacation. So sad.
TGIF, we’re slap-happy December 15, 2006 ~ 5:17 pm
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey , comments closedConversation I just had with my boss when she buzzed me on the office intercom:
Julie: Yeah, what do you need?
Boss: Isn’t the word “yahoo” weird? Doesn’t it look like “Yeah-ho”?
Julie: There are two “o”s. Thus the “oooh” sound.
Boss: Yeah-ho. Yeah-ho.
Julie: You’re a yeah-ho. Wait, is that all you buzzed me for?
Boss (laughing): Yeah.
Julie (laughing): You’re a fucking retard!
Boss (laughing uncontrollably): Yeah-ho! Yeah-hoooooooo!
Julie: Dude, I’m hanging up now.
Boss: Okay. Bye.
