Category: Academic Office Monkey


Touched by a…

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey by Julie — 2 Comments
March 8, 2007

Lotsa crap going on here, too much to write about at the moment.  So instead I’ll leave you with a funny story.

My office and two others share a small bathroom, which is far superior to going down the hall and using the one that the students destroy.  Today, the bulb in the bathroom burned out and we called Facilities to get the bulb changed.  Unfortunately, they didn’t have a fluorescent bulb and have to special order one for us.  So in the meantime the guy installed a spotlight – the kind you might put on your front porch, for instance.  He said that in addition to lighting the room, it would also be good “for warming purposes.”  And that started every spotlight line in the universe.

“Wow, I never realized the water was so sparkling and clear!” exclaimed one of my coworkers.

“After looking in the mirror in there, I think I need to get my teeth whitened,” another said.

“Can’t keep out of the spotlight?” I was asked as I made another trip in.  In my defense, I’d had three 24 oz. bottles of water.

“Yeah.  My hair just looks so gorgeous in it!” I gushed.  “It’s like having your very own Touched By an Angel light!”  And then I thought about it.  In the work bathroom, maybe it’s best not to be touched by anyone.  Even an angel.  Because ew.  Bring on the fluorescent bulb, guys.  I’m about ready to relinquish my spot on the bathroom stage.

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V. good V-Day.

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey, Coupledom, Rick by Julie — 4 Comments
February 15, 2007

Yesterday when I came into work, braving sleet, ice, snow, and crowded MTA transportation, I was greeted with “Boy am I glad to see you!”. That sounds sweet, doesn’t it? Yeah, not so much. They were glad to see me because while I was gone, one of my staff came down with a stomach virus, another got bronchitis and her husband got penumonia, and a third passed out at work with some undiagnosed illness that even the hospital threw its hands up at. Oh, and a fourth, who is 76 years old, was going to be late because she had to wait for her super to be able to escort her to work – the sidewalks were slippery, so I didn’t blame her.

So that left me and two part timers to deal with the flood of students who called and came in. Good times.

When five o’clock finally came around and I was able to catch the train to Rick’s house, there were all sorts of delays. First, there were other trains in front of us. Then the story changed to say that there had been a power outage on the line because of the snow. Then they were going to route us up the East Side line. Then everything was fine and we were back on the regular line. All told, I was on the subway for an hour and a half when I can generally make it from work to Rick’s in 50 minutes. Grrr.

But when I finally got there, all the tension from the day melted away. We cracked open some wine, Rick made a wonderful dinner, there were gifts, there was shagging, there was dessert, and I got to spend time with my boy, the best boyfriend on the planet. In the end, yesterday was a very good day.

And today, the stomach virus victim is back to work, so there are four of us in the office. Hooray!

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Why is it?

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey by Julie — 7 Comments
February 8, 2007

Why is it that when I don’t have to go to work, even the tasks that I’ve been dreading the most (reogranizing the hall closet, cleaning up the pantry cupboard, cleaning in general) seem easy? I’ve been avoiding these things on weekends for over a month now because I just couldn’t deal with them. Yet because I don’t have to go to work today (or tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that, or the day after that, or even the day after that!), I’m suddenly full of energy and ready to do some serious redding up of the house. What the hell is with that?

I’m also helping a friend pack up her apartment this afternoon and actually looking forward to it. Well, I’ll miss her when she moves, but I don’t mind the thought of spending the afternoon engaged in manual labor awful. Perhaps not my first choice for the first day of vacation, but it’s not bothering me at all.

I don’t hate my job by any means, but I think these are all signs that I definitely needed a vacation. So sad.

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TGIF, we’re slap-happy

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey by Julie — 6 Comments
December 15, 2006

Conversation I just had with my boss when she buzzed me on the office intercom:

Julie: Yeah, what do you need?

Boss: Isn’t the word “yahoo” weird? Doesn’t it look like “Yeah-ho”?

Julie: There are two “o”s. Thus the “oooh” sound.

Boss: Yeah-ho. Yeah-ho.

Julie: You’re a yeah-ho. Wait, is that all you buzzed me for?

Boss (laughing): Yeah.

Julie (laughing): You’re a fucking retard!

Boss (laughing uncontrollably): Yeah-ho! Yeah-hoooooooo!

Julie: Dude, I’m hanging up now.

Boss: Okay. Bye.

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HA!

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey, In Da Hood by Julie — 11 Comments
December 11, 2006

Law & Order (no, I don’t know which version) is filming on our campus this week. We’re a gated campus that doesn’t look like a city college (in other words, we’ve got a nice quad), so things film here all the time – movies, TV shows, and more Law & Orders than I can count – because it’s cheaper than paying for everyone to film outside the city. In one month this summer, Sarah Jessica Parker (short) and Chris Noth (hawt!) were both on campus, filming for separate things.

At any rate, sometimes things on campus get set dressing to make them look more like whatever fictional campus they’re supposed to be. For instance, today there is a completely fictional information booth sitting in the center of the quad. The best part, however, was when I realized that the building I work in is now posing as a chapel, complete with sign. Today, this Wiccan works in a church. HA!

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It’s in the water

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey by Julie — 9 Comments
November 21, 2006

One of the women in my office has been having problems with her leg. She thought that it was a circulation problem (she’s in her 70s), but the doctors say that’s not it. They’re now testing her for a nerve problem – sound familiar? She can’t walk right now, though, so her problem is a little more serious than mine. I’m really starting to think there’s something in the water, though.

In the meantime, we’re all busting ass to cover for her. We’ve got a major amount of candidates for graduation split amongst six lists (based on what they still need to do to meet their requirements) and we have to proof every single one of their audits to make sure they’re supposed to be on these lists. The lists were originally due Tuesday, but I managed to talk the Powers That Be into giving us a little slack and they’re now due by the end of next week. Still and all, we have a shitload of work to get done today and tomorrow so we can get the lists themselves (as opposed to just the audits) generated and proofed. My boss did not understand exactly what was going on until I ‘splained it very carefully. I’m sure she’s pissed that I’m skipping out of a two hour meeting right now (this meeting is always pointless for me to be at, especially since she and our Big Boss will both be at, but she likes to share the misery), but this list is much more important.

Burn, Julie, burn!

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The house wins. The house always wins.

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey by Julie — 9 Comments
November 16, 2006

I am dying here, people. Dying because I can’t blog/type and write these damned letters to students. That would be just too much for my It Could Be Carpal Tunnel to handle. And since the audits and letters for the students need to be done by tomorrow, the job wins out over the blog. Which blows. So until I can blog, I will distract you with a picture of a Mighty Hunter (he’s actually hunting a light reflection from my watch, but what the hell).

Mighty hunter

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Mystery Solved

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey, Random Insanity by Julie — 9 Comments
October 5, 2006

Great Big Mable
Seagulls like Great Big Mable ~ Pontoosuc Lake, MA.

Tuesday night, my stomach started making noises at me. Thinking it was either Zuul or a severe case of puppy tummy from a big meal, I lay on my couch, moaned a little (ala Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally), felt better after a few hours of TV watching, and went to bed.

I woke up at 6 AM yesterday, hands holding my stomach, moaning a lot louder. When it became very obvious that this was not going to go away, I dashed to the bathroom, prayed to the porcelain god for a while, and then lay at its feet on the cool tile. I eventually shot the cat (sick or no, the Piss Crusader needs his insulin), called off work, went back to bed, and fell into a fitful sleep until noon, dreaming that it had snowed and later reached a temperature of 115* in the same day. I’m guessing I had chills and a fever for a while.

By early afternoon, I was able to stagger to the couch with some juice and collapse while watching TV. By 4, I was able to sit up. I was able to eat and keep things down, and figured I might still be good to go to Stitch n Bitch for a drop spindle lesson, but when I took a shower and got dressed, I realized standing and I were not meant to be together at the moment. Which meant that walking would be worse. Which meant no SnB. I put my jim-jams back on, watched more TiVo, and eventually went to bed, chalking the whole day up to some bad red cabbage or my delicate stomach.

When I got to work this morning, one of the women from the next office came over. “Are you feeling better? You know that A., E., and S. have all been out at various points this week with upset stomachs and puking, right?” Um, no, I hadn’t known that. But now I feel way better. Because for once, it wasn’t just my stupid stomach. No, it was an office plague! I was felled by an office plague, and others had suffered, too. I can’t tell you how great I feel about this – like I want to stand on my desk and shout “Hey! It’s not just me! It’s legitimate! There’s a plague!” I won’t, of course, but on the inside? Totally screaming and tap dancing. There’s something wrong about that.

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Evil Julie

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey by Julie — 7 Comments
August 31, 2006

Evil Julie is coming out to play a lot this week at work.  It’s the first week of classes, so all hell is breaking loose all over campus, but I don’t think that’s an excuse for being nasty to my staff and I, or insinuating that we don’t do our jobs, or telling everyone that the procedure that we insist on is to make life difficult for you and your department.  Homey don’t play that, peeps.  Actually, Homey may be inclined to start sending out emails that are very politely worded but nonetheless point out to you (and everyone you felt compelled to CC) that you are a putz.

Evil Julie has not spared her staff for their lapses into stupidity, either.  At one point on Monday morning, I said “Look, I’m not asking any of you to work any harder than I am.  Do any of you have to guarantee that six separate lists of candidates for graduation are all correct and sent in by noon?  No.”  Stupidity will not be tolerated people, and laziness is not an excuse.  Most of my staff has been in this office longer than I’ve been alive, they should know how to do their jobs already.

In the midst of all of this, I’ve still been doing a bang up job and suggested to the Supervisor that she print up some t-shirts.  I don’t think having everyone wearing a “Julie: We’d Be Screwed Without Her” shirt is too much, but she vetoed my idea.  So I’ve come up with a new one:

Evil Julie: Taking No Prisoners

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There was something in the air that night

Filed Under: Academic Office Monkey, Da Cats, Daily Grind by Julie — 5 Comments
August 29, 2006

And now I’m singing “Fernando.”  Dammit.

There’s something in the air or water or ether this week, to the point where I would almost swear it’s a full moon.  But it isn’t, I checked.  My work has been completely psycho this week, with classes starting, several lists of candidates for graduation being prepared, and registration on-going.  There is much yelling, screaming, begging, pleading, and freaking out – I didn’t speak to a reasonable person until 10:45 yesterday morning, and this morning was worse as I rushed to put together six different lists of candidates simultaneously.  Just when I thought I was all done, I realized I switched the cover pages on two of the lists and had to re-do them, re-email them, and re-collate them.  That was when I got this email from one of the people I had sent the email to:

“You’re really trying to make me as crazy as you, aren’t you?”

I needed a laugh, so I sent back an email that said, “Oh, I hope I haven’t driven you that crazy!”

Maybe it’s the weather – many people I know are depressed right now, myself included.  I am going back and forth between laughter to screaming to near-tears at an alarming rate, with a whopping case of PMS on top of whatever craziness is contagious around this place.  That’s sure fun.

Hey, and this afternoon I get to take the Piss Crusader to the vet for his blood tests!  That’s also fun!  Let’s see if he still fits into his carrier…

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