Category: Fambly


(subtitle, “Can You Feel The Love?”)

My mother’s hearing is not what it once was. It hasn’t been for years, and for years, I have teased her about getting a Miracle Ear. Last night provided us with another example of why she should.

Me: And then Lori and I are going to dance at the last LCDJ event.

Mom: What about Janice?

Me: What? I didn’t say anything about Janice. I don’t know anyone named Janice.

Mom: You said something something Janice. Say what you said before.

Me: Um…LCDJ?

Mom: No. Before that.

Me: What about “dance”? Dance could sound like “Janice.”

Mom (laughing): No it doesn’t, you idiot. 32!  [aside, this is what she randomly assigned as my IQ number years ago]

Me (laughing): Who’s the idiot? I didn’t say anything about Janice! You need a Miracle Ear!

Welcome to my family, we mock with love.

My past three days have involved a 911 call, a trip to the ER with Rick’s mom, a fair amount of time spent at the hospital, a bomb scare at work this morning, and eight calls (and counting) to my office from someone screaming “She’s going to throw a bomb! Die! Die! Explosions!”.

How was your Christmas?

There was a longer post here, but the stupid server ate it.

My mom called last night to tell me that my grandmother (her mother) had passed. There was a lot of complicated history there, and we hadn’t talked to her (and vice versa) since I was about 15, but still, she was my grandmother. My last surviving grandparent. And another death within 24 hours of Becky…well, I’m spent.

2007 has been a year of death, depression, and bad luck for everyone I know. The only good thing to come out of this year for me has been Samang. If it weren’t for that happy little girl, I don’t know what I’d do. I spent some time with her and Jordana last night, and her laughter and babbles were exactly the balm I needed. I’m still about ready for 2007 to be over, though. 26 more days.

Becky’s gone. She went quickly in the end, which was a blessing, but if I’m quiet for the next couple of days (as I may or may not be), you’ll know why.

Send good thoughts for Rick and his brother Bill and their mother. To lose two of the four siblings in less than a year, it’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. And her kids, who are still very young (her oldest will be 21 next week), could also use some good thoughts.

Update

I’ve lost track of time in the last two days. I’ve spent some time at the hospital with Becky. Rick has spent much more time there. We go, come back, Rick goes again, comes back…between the repeat visits to the hospital and the shorter days here (the sun goes down a full 15 minutes earlier in Western Massachusetts than it does in Brooklyn, I swear), there is a lot of sleep at odd hours. I sent Rick to bed at about 7:30 because he was sleeping in a chair and almost fell out of it.

It’s a lot of ups and downs here. Rick was told early Wednesday morning that she probably wouldn’t make it. A few hours later, and the supervisory doctor said no, they would keep her on antibiotics and observe her for a while. Yesterday afternoon, she seemed to be failing again. This morning, Rick went to the hospital with Becky’s husband to put Becky on “comfort measures,” which basically means to take her off the machines and everything, and the doctor says that the x-ray is a little better (it ain’t great, by any means – she’s got abscesses in her lungs in addition to the pneumonia), and everyone should just wait until Monday morning when her attending is back on the floor. When we went this afternoon, her hands were cold again and her vitals were down again as well. I can see the roller-coaster taking its toll on Rick and everyone else, and I can feel how easy it is to fall into thinking that warmer hands or slightly improved vital signs are a sign of improvement, because that’s all we’ve got. But although Rick and I talk to her when we’re in the room with her, and although I did her hair last night with some ribbons their mom sent over, it doesn’t really feel like Becky’s in the room with us.

We just keep putting one foot in front of the other…

Drained

There is a lot going on in the world of Julz, not the least of which is that Rick’s sister is in the hospital. Her cancer came back, and then she came down with pneumonia and sepsis on top of it. She is not doing well, and my thoughts are in Massachusetts with her and the family. If you could send your good vibes that direction, too, I’d appreciate it.

It’s been a good long time since we had a picture post, so what the hell, right? My uncle Norm has been shooting pictures for as long as I can remember, so it was very cool to be able to discuss shots with him this weekend. View full article »

Birthday

Mom’s birthday weekend is over, and I think it was a pretty good one, if I do say so myself.  I gave her presents, I took her out to dinner, I fixed her TiVo, and I set up her new cell phone.  In return, she flew me home and back, took me to see a show at the Pittsburgh Public Theater, took me to Gettysburg to see my uncle Norm, and took me to Red Lobster.  A good weekend all around, especially the part where we got to see Norm – I haven’t seen him in at least 6 years, possibly as many as 8.  We had a great time reconnecting over our mutual love of history, photography, and beer.  I blame him for my interest in the first two of those three, the third is Rick’s fault and just turned out to be a bonus.

Pictures were taken, but since I am definitely my uncle’s niece, I completely forgot to get a picture of the three of us (he is legendary for not taking pictures of people – he took about 15 rolls of film during our trip to London in 1989, and exactly one picture out of those 15 was a picture of me because my mother insisted on it).  Pictures should be up on Flickr tonight if I can get my shit together.

Now to get back into the work groove.  For the next three hours.

May 18 has been important to me for a long time now, since it’s an important day for three people I love.

First, it’s my brother Dick’s birthday.  He turns 58 today.  If he’s reading this (I think he sometimes does), he probably wants to hit me for telling you all that.  But ha!  He can’t!  Happy birthday, big brother.  I’m very glad you liked your present.  I say present, singular, because the hat wasn’t really supposed to be a birthday present.  It just sat in my office for so long before I mailed it that it fortuitously arrived in time for your birthday.  But even I would not be so mean as to make a wool watchcap for a May birthday.  The Obama book was your real birthday present.  I love that you are just as liberal as I am.

Second, it’s my friend Colleen’s 30th birthday.  She also probably wants to hit me for telling you how old she is.  She has been my best friend since we were 14, and has been going through a ton of crap for the past couple of years.  Something tells me that 30 is the corner, Leenie.  Your thirties are going to be awesome to make up for all that crap in your twenties.  I do have a present for you, as well as a massive surprise, but since I can never be counted on to do anything on time, you’ll have to wait a little bit for it.

Third, today marks the 14th anniversary of the day my mom quit smoking, cold turkey.  I was in Canada on a band trip at the time, and I came home to find that she had taken the edge off her nicotine cravings with a little bit of home remodeling.  As in, she had taken a sledgehammer to the walls of our bathroom.  She had been a heavy smoker, so I guess this was reasonable.  Later that summer as we hung drywall in there (yes, we did it ourselves), I caught a great case of walking pneumonia from the dust, since my bedroom was right next door to the bathroom.  I had to spend a fair amount of time lying down that summer as a result, which blew.  So, in summary, Mom quitting smoking: good for Mom’s lungs, not so good for mine, at least in the short term.  But I’m very glad she quit.  Congratulations, Mom.

To top it all off, the Landlady called while I was on my way to work and my ATM card came.  Considering I wasn’t expecting it until Monday, I think Supervisor Karen over at HSBC lit a fire under someone’s ass.  That is good.  However, I am still closing that account as soon as my work direct deposit flips over to WaMu.  My friend in payroll says that should happen in time for next week’s check.  We shall see.  But it’s good to have friends in payroll.

May 18th.  A memorable day all around.

There is a long story behind this, but I don’t have the energy or the inclination to type it.  Rick’s sister had a large malignant mass removed from her throat late last week.  Yesterday we got the news that while there is still some cancer on her larynx, the doctors are going to treat it with chemo and radiation rather than removing her voicebox.  She is being released from the hospital today and so far we are cautiously optimistic – at our darkest points last week, we were sure we were going to hear “She has ____ amount of time to live.”  Since we weren’t told that, we’re hopeful.

Another bit of light that’s peering at me from the end of the tunnel is that my little inmate, The Feline Formerly Known As Malik, has been given a clean bill of health – I could have told them he was fine after I saw him almost hurl himself from a perch 7 feet about the ground to get food that was being brought in for another cat, but what the hell.  I don’t know when I’m going to get him yet – I’m trying to get hold of a car for the pick up, but in all likelihood, he will be in the apartment by the end of the week.  Learning to respond to a name that is not Malik.  And eventually, to share food with Joe.

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