Rick: Are those the jammie pants that were on the floor by the bed?
Me (looking down at the jim-jams I’m wearing): Yeah. Why?
Rick: I meant to tell you. Freddie was…using them earlier.
Me: What do you mean “using” them? (light slowly dawns) Wait, he was using them as a humpy?
(Rick nods.)
Me (stripping them off, desperately trying to get them away from my skin): Oh, GROSS! Freddie, why are you such a nasty fucking animal? Jim-jams are NOT HUMPIES!!!!
Category: Shorty
To my everlasting shame, I have TiVo season passes to a fair amount of bad TV. I watch 90210 now, and America’s Next Top Model, and we all know I have a fondness for VH1′s Celebreality crap. I have no explanation for this, really, except that like our bodies crave junk food occasionally, so do our minds. I like to be able to sit back and not think for a few hours at night after a crazy day at work. So imagine my glee when I heard a radio ad for VH1′s newest program, Rock of Love Charm School. Oh, that’s right, the worst behaved of the Rock of Love girls are going to be put through charm school. And the headmistress is Sharon Osbourne. Think about that. Think about the potential for either awesomeness or disaster, and then realize that either way, it’s going to be must-see-TV. I can barely contain myself. TiVo season pass, here we come!
And yes, I fully realize the craziness of me having an MFA in Dramaturgy and Theatre Criticism, and then using it to review trash TV. Suck it.
Samang has become quite the little clean machine. Yesterday when she was at my house, she spilled juice down her front by accident, then went over to the tea towels hanging off the front of the oven, pulled one off, and mopped herself up! And when I jokingly said “What about your mouth?” she wiped her face with it as well. And then she started on the floor. If she is this much of a neat freak at 14 months, I’m figuring we can really put her to work by 2 1/2. I look forward to a time when we can just let her get her clean on and occasionally ask her to bring us beer from the fridge. That’s why people have kids, isn’t it? 
In today’s oh shit I haven’t written anything on the blog in ten days, people must hate me, I’ll put up something short post, I give you…air from my lungs. (Yeah, see, that’s only funny if you’re a Doctor Who fan. The rest of you? I’m sorry again.) I could give you a rundown on things, but mostly that goes like “knit, watch Olympics, knit, eat, knit, drink beer, work, watch Olympics, sleep, don’t knit for a couple of days because I’m lazy, knit” and that’s boring, because if you don’t count the knitting (and not knitting), most of you are doing the same damn thing. Watching the Olympics, surviving, drinking some beer or an alcoholic or caffeinated beverage of your choice.
So instead I give you a fun waste of time: What your birthday says about you. Mine says this:
Your personal ruling planets are Venus and Jupiter.
You have pure and generous aspirations – thanks to the influence of Jupiter. Being spiritual by nature you don’t see success in the material world as the be all and end all.
Your mind is firm and your heart magnanimous. Things don’t ordinarily get you down too much and so you are capable of handling large affairs, Corporate business and projects that others may cringe at! You have healing powers and make people and animals feel at ease in your presence.
Spend some time at the theatre or develop an interest in drama. It will soothe your soul. 30th year on proves lucky.
Your lucky colours are yellow, lemon and sandy shades.
Your lucky gems are yellow sapphire, citrine quartz and golden topaz.
Your lucky days of the week Thursday, Sunday, Tuesday.
Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 3, 12, 21, 30, 39, 48, 57 , 66, 75.
Famous people born on your birthday include Lester Maddox, Deborah Kerr, Truman Capote, Fran Drescher, Martina Hingis and Jenna Elfman.
I particularly like the “30th year on proves lucky.” I am 30 now. That means I am lucky for the rest of my life, people! YES! Perhaps not so lucky to share a birthday with The Nanny, Fran Drescher, but the rest of it will be good! What do your birthdays say about you?
I’ve spent all day logged into my blog, trying to come up with a post. Now that it’s nearly five, and I still haven’t come up with a good idea? I’m just going to wish you all good weekend. Enjoy it, and if you have Lincoln’s birthday off (like I do) and were also able to take Monday off (like I was), really enjoy it.
I have to pee. I am simultaneously trying to plan a trip to Florida for next month with Rick and a trip to the spa in two weeks with Lori and Jordana. I may well explode.
ETA: Trip to Florida, booked. And I have peed. But I need to go again. Stupid water-drinking.
Game plan for today: relentlessly stalk the Blue Moon website to see when the new Raven series is launched, make a big hookin’ order with my 10% discount and the gift certificate Jordana’s mom got me for my birthday. This may or may not happen before I leave for the day, since I’m leaving early for Joe’s monthly bloodwork appointment at the vet’s. When we get home from that, there will be time enough to take a shower, change into my Polamalu jersey, and grab a beer before settling in front of the TV with my knitting to watch the Steelers-Ravens game. Hmmm…Raven series launched the day we play the Ravens. Coincidence? Probably about as much as there is between me taking the kitty to the doctor today and going to my own kitty doctor tomorrow.
The carpal tunnel is acting up, the work servers just ate a long post, and it’s time for me to go home. So you get something just for kicks. (If you’re a Doctor Who fan, you’ll enjoy this, it was cut out of the “Last of the Time Lords” ep that aired on Sci-Fi last Friday because it ran long. Also, if you’re a Scissor Sisters fan? You’ll like it as well. And if you’re neither, you might not get as much enjoyment out of it, but it’s still pretty damned funny.) Here you go.
I think last weekend can be summed up by the following quotes:
“I’m going to the bathroom. If someone wants to use my wheel…let them.” ~me, at the Spin-Out
“You realize that this camera means that for the next four birthdays and Christmases, you will only receive handmade poppets.” ~Rick, Monday morning
Today can be summed up by this quote:
“I really don’t want to be back at work.” ~me