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How to Kill a Peep March 31, 2004 ~ 11:17 am

Posted by Julie in : Random Insanity , comments closed

Peeps are all over the place. When I was younger, they only came in yellow chick-shapes, but now they are a rainbow of colors and a universe of shapes. There have been several posts today about the evil that is a Peep, and they reminded me of an experiment performed at my house last year to see what exactly it takes to kill a Peep.

Used for experiment: several of the classic yellow chick-shaped Peeps. Nothing fancy for us.

1st method used: Water. We were’t picky, we wanted to see if the Peep would melt if submerged. Stuck said Peep in a water glass for three minutes, completely submerged as I held it down with my fingers. While I liked drowning the Peep, my satisfaction was short lived in that the water did absolutely nothing to the Peep. Moved onto…

2nd method used: Vinegar. Dumped water out of the glass and filled it with apple cider vinegar, because it was the only kind we had in the house. None of us being chemists, we figured that maybe the acid in the vinegar would kill the Peep. It sure seems to discourage the ants I sometimes find building homes outside my apartment building. Same procedure with vinegar. Hold Peep submerged beneath surface. This time after three minutes, the yellow seemed to come off a little, but the Peep was still generally intact. This called for serious measures…

3rd method used: Microwave. I remembered making s’mores in the microwave when I was younger, and how the marshmallows would always balloon to three times their normal size. Half the fun was seeing how long you could keep them in the microwave before they exploded. Upon further recollection, this part was ony fun for me and my friends. My mother was not thrilled with the prospect of a marshmallow-covered microwave. At any rate…stuck a new Peep on a small plate, and stuck it in the microwave for some time (I can’t remember the exact amount of time, we were more obsessed with getting it out before it popped). Peep became distended, as if it were suffering from a really bad case of gas. When we took it out of the microwave, the Peep shrunk back to normal size, looking only slightly the worse for wear. However when we tried to scrape it off the plate, we ran into problems. Apparently the yellow sugar/marshmallow mixture turns into something about the same consistency as super glue. Eventually the majority of the Peep was removed, but the yellow sugar coating never came completely off. I think the roommate threw it out. Still, no death for the Peep. Time for trial by…

4th method used: Fire! Skewered a new Peep with a shishkabob stick. Lit it on fire with a regular cigarette lighter. At first, nothing much happened, but eventually the yellow coating disappeared. After several minutes, we extinguished the Peep, only to find that it still had eyes! That’s right, the candy coating was gone, but the Peep was looking at us and accusing us of attempted Peep-icide! I couldn’t take the guilt, and threw this Peep out. This concluded our experiments.

Theory: Peeps do not die. I don’t know what they do when the stomach acid hits them after they are eaten, but I’m pretty sure they don’t get fully digested. Even if I could have eaten them before the experiments, which I couldn’t, there is no way in hell I could eat them after. Peeps will still be around when all that is left of this planet are the cockroaches. Peeps and cockroaches will mate and their hybrid sugar-covered spawn will rule the universe.

What I Do March 30, 2004 ~ 3:09 pm

Posted by Julie in : Drama Queen , comments closed

So several of you wonderful people who read this blog were wondering about a term I used in a post yesterday. Said term being “dramaturg” and all the derivations thereof. Now if you look up dramaturg at dictionary.com, as I just tried to do, you are going to come up with bubkes. You will get a whole bunch of derivations of the word that really have nothing to do with the current, American meaning of the word. You’ll get “dramaturge,” among others, which is French for playwright. That is not what I do. I am not a writer of plays, although I have great admiration for people who can write plays.

No, I’m a dramaturg in the German sense of the word, which is pronounced with a hard -g at the end, and should never be pronounced “drama-turd,” which Rick’s kids do because they think it’s funny. You can call me a ‘turg for short, though. Dramaturgs are among the most recent additions to the theatrical community, and have only really hit it big in the Americas during the last 30 years or so. And by hitting it big, I mean that there are about 500 of us throughout the country, mostly at the large theatres.

Which is all well and good, but I still haven’t told you what a dramaturg does. It depends. I have spent a lot of the past three years working on new play development, where I am a sounding board for the playwright. I ask questions that hopefully make the play a more focused work. I try to make sure that the play is a cohesive arc through beginning, middle, and end, and has a definite journey. I also try to make sure that all loose ends are tied up, and not just plot-wise. If a device is used in the beginning of the play and then gets dropped, I’m the one saying “Why didn’t you use this ever again? Why don’t you do it and see what happens?” So I’m not a playwright, but I work with them.

I also work on revivals, and when I’m doing that, my role differs a bit. For instance, for the Moliere piece I’m currently working on, I worked with the translator (who is also my director) to make sure that it makes sense, and that references to things in the French which an American audience might miss are less obscure. I gave him historical references for the relationship between France and the Ottoman Empire. I’m writing a study guide for the students who will come from area schools, to make sure that they are prepared for the show with information that will help them enjoy it, and leave the show having learned some things about the play and the theatre. On occasion I have made “image walls” with many pictures to immerse cast and audiences in a specific time period or place. I have co-ordinated panels after shows that give audience members a chance to talk with the artists who worked on the play. I answer (or try to) any question that an actor can possibly come up with about the world of the play. In general, I try to make the revivals just as clear as the new plays, just in a different way.

Oh, and occasionally I teach college kids about theatre. Going to be doing that again this June when I go to Nebraska to work on a two week playwrighting seminar.

That’s my evening job, and one I often don’t get paid for, even though it’s what I have my MFA in. My day job is a whole other subject, and much less interesting. Scroll back to some of my earlier posts and you’ll find a mind numbing description of that job.

As for “dramaturging,” that’s the verb form of the word that dictionary.com says doesn’t exist. Gotta love language!

A Night in My Life March 30, 2004 ~ 2:57 pm

Posted by Julie in : Coupledom, Rick , comments closed

This is what my life is like the nights I spend with the boyfriend. Well, the G-rated version. We go to bed, cuddle for a bit, and then go to opposite sides of the bed. Why do we do this? Well, Mr. Rick has Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), which means that sometimes his joints feel itchy or tingly. This is mostly in his legs, mostly at night. The only way to get rid of the itchiness is to move the offending joint, which means kicking.

Now, fortunately, he does not kick me. He kicks straight up and down. Which means sleeping in the same bed with him is a series of jolts throughout the course of the night - the mattress bouncing when he hits it with his leg. For the first few weeks of our relationship, this kept me up. Now I can sleep through it no problem. I call it earthquake training, although I can’t remember the last time NYC had an earthquake.

Sometimes Rick feels bad about kicking so consistently, and sometimes he’s just not tired, so he’ll go into the living room to watch TV/play guitar/kick the couch rather than the bed so that his sleeping girlfriend can catch some z’s in peace. He has yet to learn that I am more likely to be wakened by the lack of kicking than I am by the kicking. Anyway, he did this last night, and came back several hours later, by which point I had rolled over to his side of the bed, and told me to move over. I did so, leaving him half of the bed. He told me to move over some more. I did again, leaving him with two-thirds of the bed. (He’s 6′3″, he does need more room than me. I’m only 5′2″.) This was not enough, however, and he asked me to give him some more room. I did so, and by this point have approximately the one foot of space nearest to the edge. Keep in mind we are in a queen-sized bed. The love of my life then asks one more time, and I, barely awake, say “There’s no more room, I’m as moved over as I’m going to get.” He apologized, but I knew he was wishing he had the bed to himself.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to go home and sleep with my two cats in my double bed. But then again, they aren’t as much fun to watch while they’re sleeping. :)

Mix CDs March 29, 2004 ~ 3:32 pm

Posted by Julie in : Rick , comments closed

Remember how when you were younger you would make a mix tape of songs that were meaningful to you and your friends, or maybe a boyfriend/girlfriend? The practice was immortalized in “High Fidelity” with John Cusack. At any rate, I made Rick a mix CD of songs that made me think of him/us about three months ago. Since the laptop has been living at his house, he decided to do the same for me, and gave it to me this weekend. Among some really beautiful/touching songs was one choice from Def Leppard: “Four Letter Word.” Yes, ladies and gents, with all the great love songs Lep has written over the years, my boyfriend chose the one that ends “Lust can kinda be nice, but it ain’t L-O-V-E!” He cracks me up…

Networking March 29, 2004 ~ 2:58 pm

Posted by Julie in : Drama Queen , comments closed

And no, I don’t mean the computer kind. Tonight Rick and I are off to a gala at the theatre I’m currently dramaturging a show for. (Wow, I think that’s a whole new record for bad grammar in one sentence!) It should be a good time - I’ve made quite a few friends there, and we’re doing networking for him. One of the perks of dating an actor, and being in theatre myself, is that every party is a chance to sell yourself. You never know where your next gig is going to come from, so it’s all about meeting as many people as possible and letting them know that you would love to work for them. Even if that’s not true. I’ve come to the conclusion that “schmoozing” is just a nice way of saying “Whoring myself out for the promise of a job.”

All that being said, it’s not like I don’t know people there, and I’m anticipating having a good time. Plus, I get to peel out of work 20 minutes early to get dressed, since the thing starts at 6:30. Score.

Apprentice March 26, 2004 ~ 4:27 pm

Posted by Julie in : Reviews, Rick , comments closed

Watched The Apprentice last night after dropping off the dry cleaning (damn cat’s little bladder is costing me $53!). Actually, first I watched Will & Grace and Friends, because basketball pre-empted Survivor. And Pitt lost. Damn. Okay, but back on track…

Watched The Apprentice last night. I have this theory that the reason I (and now Rick) are so addicted to it is because it’s a form of anger management. I like it when Trump says “You’re fired!”. I cheer when the really annoying ones get canned. Because I think through that I can take out all the frustrations that accrue at my day job. Rick said it best last night…”I was watching basketball, but then I remembered that someone was going to get fired, so I flipped the channel.” It’s all about the firing. We really are Ugly Americans if we enjoy this so much.

Argh. I was going to do a mini-review of “Mr. Fox” but just haven’t had the time. Maybe this weekend. The laptop is at Rick’s, where I will be spending most of the weekend. Let’s just hope it still has enough power after he loaded 1,500 songs onto iTunes…

Ouch March 26, 2004 ~ 4:15 pm

Posted by Julie in : Random Insanity , comments closed

Why are small things so painful? (And guys, turn away here, some of this is gross “female stuff”). Here’s a list of things I’ve experienced in the past week or so that have no right to hurt too much, considering how small the source of pain is:

Razor nicks - does anything burn quite like this? Unless it’s a…
Paper cut - nuff said
Cramps - I haven’t had these in a while, but my prescription plan switched my Pill to the generic, and I think that had something to do with it.
Hemorrhoids - good God. why are humans inflicted with these? And heaven help you if you have an office job where you have to sit all day, like I do.

I think that’s it. For now.

Ha! March 25, 2004 ~ 4:37 pm

Posted by Julie in : Da Cats, Technobabble , comments closed

I’m learning HTML in spite of myself. I knew it at one point, when I had a website, but blog layout html seems a lot different. Same rules apply, though. So I got my titles back after 10 minutes of messing with various templates. “I am so smart! S-M-R-T. Wait…”

Might play around with the blog a little more tonight, but that will be after I visit the dry cleaner (other cat, Jesse, decided to pee on my down comforter because he didn’t like the condition of his litter box…it’s been a fun cat week). And The Apprentice is on tonight! Somebody needs to get fired. It helps me take out my frustrations for the week.

Outta here.

Blasphemous Humor (or wait, is it sacreligious?) March 25, 2004 ~ 3:09 pm

Posted by Julie in : Random Insanity, Urban Family , comments closed

Lori and I were just emailing back and forth, which we do all day at work. Makes the day go faster. And we were talking about holidays, and she typo’ed W-Mas, instead of X-Mas. My response was “What is W-Mas, a feminist holiday celebrating Mary’s ordeal in delivering the son of God?” Of course, I couldn’t let it go at that, and went on with “And what did Mary scream when she was giving birth? She couldn’t yell ‘Jesus Christ’ like women do now, because it didn’t mean the same thing back then. Maybe it meant something like “Why did I let you do this to me, God?”, and she screamed it just as the kid was born, and that’s why we call him Jesus Christ.”

Lori found this hysterical and said I was channelling Chris Rock or something. I view it as just another example of how off the wall I am. But I still think it’s funny. And not meant to offend anyone, so I’m sorry if it did!

Cold and rainy March 25, 2004 ~ 11:32 am

Posted by Julie in : Rick, The Girls , comments closed

Is there some unwritten rule that when the temperature is possibly going to hit 50, they shut off the heat? Because it sure seems that way in my office. I’ve been on the phone with Facilities three times this week, pleading with them to turn up the heat. Eventually, it comes, but I think they all know me over there now. I asked someone else in my office to call them this morning.

Rick’s girls are back from Scotland and staying with him for the next few days, until spring break is over. The ex is still in Europe, which is why the kids were in Scotland, they were visiting their mom. She’s an opera diva. In the true sense of the word, not the nice one that Kim, Karrie, et. al are. I saw the girls last night before Rick and I went to the theatre (we saw Bill Irwin in “Mr. Fox: A Rumination” - I’ll probably write my thoughts about it later), and they regaled me with stories of the Paris airport, having the stomach flu in a really bad hotel, and haggis. The oldest child also made up a song with at least 20 verses about a man who loved beer (yep, it was really about Dad). Sung very well in a country-western style. I love hanging out with them, and will probably see them at least twice more this weekend. There is nothing like seeing the world through the eyes of an 8 year old and an 11 year old.

And outside…it’s 47 degrees and rainy. I can deal with the rain as long as it continues to warm up. I am so tired of winter!

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