“Rage against the dying of the light” October 30, 2004 ~ 6:45 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closed
Verezano Bridge at sunset, seen from Brooklyn, NY
I can’t remember what poem that’s from or who wrote it, so 20 “You’re So Cool” points to the first person who does and posts it in a comment. Except it it’s Kim L., because she’s getting her Master’s in English lit and that would be something like cheating. And she’s had to sign enough Allegheny College honor pledges that her conscience would give her a beatdown for cheating.
Ended up not going to ritual tonight just because I was a lazy slug. And semi-depressed, again. I hate this time of year. Not because it’s fall, I love the changing of the leaves and the crisp, cool days. But because of the shortening hours of sunlight that go with the fall. Tonight we turn back the clocks an hour, and tomorrow the sun will seem like it’s starting to set at 2 in the afternoon. This wreaks havoc with my internal clock. I want the light. I need the sunlight. For the next five months, I’ll have a strong tendency towards depression until I can see the light starting to stay with us for longer periods of time. I’ll want to hibernate in my little basement home and not leave. Not want to go to work, not want to hang out with friends, nothing.
This Seasonal Affective Disorder is worse since I moved to my little Hobbit Hole. No matter how I try to hide it with blazing lights (I don’t pay for electricity here), bright yellow walls (which someone else actually painted that color), and a TV that’s turned on whenever I’m awake in an attempt to fool myself into thinking there’s another window in this room that lets light in, there’s just no light. It’s a basement. With one window. That faces north, with another house approximately ten feet away. There’s no getting around it.
I came up with an idea a couple of weeks ago that I’m hoping will circumvent some of this. My friend Tony built me some screen flats to make up for the fact that I can’t have a screen door. You see, I do have a door that leads to the back yard. You have to go up stairs to get to the back yard, and I can’t actually use the back yard, but I can have the door open. So to let in light without letting in insects or letting cats out, Rick designed me two little flats (like scenery flats, but much smaller) that Tony built for me. I stapled some screen into them, stacked them on top of each other, and it’s like I have a screen door that just doesn’t open. It’s been really nice to have the extra light this spring, summer, and fall. And I don’t want to give it up. So I had Mom bring up some plastic (the kind people put over their windows in the winter), and I’m gonna put that over the screen. Insulation so the cold doesn’t come in, which should allow me to have light for at least another month, maybe more depending on how soon Old Man Winter comes in. Cross fingers, knock wood.
As for ritual, I think I’m just going to cast a circle in my living room tomorrow when I get home from the parade. I haven’t done that in a while, and it will do me some good. I’ll be able to meditate, invite the spirits of my ancestors and friends in, and do a little divination, which I haven’t done in a while. And then maybe a walk over to the park to leave some food for the spirits. Or if I’m lazy again, I’ll leave it in my front yard. What the hell, if the spirit party is here, might as well leave the food here.
I uploaded all the foliage pictures tonight, so we’ll start having daily pictures again. Some of them turned out pretty well for a novice photog, if I do say so myself. Tomorrow I’ll take the camera out to the parade and capture some of that craziness for you all as well.
For now, I’m off to the Strand (huge used bookstore) to see if I can find a Hemingway bio that Larry wants me to get. I’m apparently writing a program insert for his show, which should be fun. It’ll give me something to work on, at least, instead of sitting on my ass. Catch you all tomorrow, hopefully. If not, definitely from work on Monday. Happy Mischief Night!
