Bizzy January 31, 2005 ~ 3:35 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedDamn, I’ve been busy today. Busy and productive, which doesn’t often happen simultaneously. One usually cancels the other out, in my experience.
Random things which I would have blogged about in greater depth except that soon I have to go work registration for the evening, and I have yet more work to do before then:
My friend Kim L. got accepted to the Harry Potter conference she applied for. She gets to go to England for free (Rutgers is paying for everything but the plane fare) to present a paper on Harry Potter. How lucky is she? Congrats, Kimmie-san!
I taught Jordana how to knit on the subway yesterday after we went to the yarn store. Next we move onto purling. This was after we went out for Indian in the East Village and we think I was called a bitch by one of the Indian waiters harassing us to come to their restaurant. To be fair, he might have been calling the Indian waiter who succeeded in getting us to come to his restaurant by promising us free beer a bitch and not me.
I got a pedicure yesterday because I wanted a footrub. My toenails are purple right now.
Dooce’s daughter, Leta, was in the New York Times this weekend. Not yet a year old, and already a cover story in the national press. Way to go, Leta!
I also thought of Pup this weekend while reading the Times. After a piece about Hillary Clinton’s stand on abortion, there was a small article on drunk dialing. Come on, you thought of Pup as soon as I said those words, too, didn’t you?
I watched a special on the Discovery Channel last night called The Last Days of Pompeii. I cannot imagine a worse way to die than by being caught in a pyroclastic volcanic eruption. That is now topping my “Worst Way To Die” list. And yes, I have one of those. Shut up.
My name is on the poster for the show that I did. This seems like small potatoes until I tell you that it’s been an ongoing fight with this theatre company for three years to have my name on the damn poster. I appreciate that my name is there. Thanks, Jan.
My cat, Joe, is a big faker. Last night, he threw up, then collapsed. I went to see what was wrong with him, thinking seizure or something. He moved a little, then acted very pathetic - completely limp, not wanting me to pick him up, anything like that. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I started petting him to calm him, and almost inaudibly he started to purr. Then I noticed his tail was flicking, like it does when he’s pissed. I stopped petting him, and two minutes later he got up, perfectly fine, and walked over to me for more petting. Little fucker was angry with me for being gone all weekend and was showing his displeasure by being a big faker. Damn cat.
And there we go. That’s all I’ve got time for. Sorry!
This might be all you get January 28, 2005 ~ 2:36 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedWork was insane today, but now that I’ve got the list of candidates for graduation done and sent out, I get to go home. And from there I’m going into Manhattan to see the show I’ve been working on that goes into previews tonight, and then to Rick’s to have more sex (I only tell you these things because I know you want to know). So I might not write again this weekend.
Talk amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a topic: That show Super Nanny. Are these parents incompetent, or just stupid? Go.
Dr. Bitch January 27, 2005 ~ 1:13 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedYeah, I was gonna do a funny post about how Rick and I had a nooner at 6 PM last night in between my day job and last night’s rehearsal, but I decided to write about one of the reasons I don’t like doctors instead. I’m a girl, I can change my mind like that.
When I was a kid, I didn’t like my doctor. Who did, really? Sure, she had a toybox that good boys and girls could get a treat out of after a visit (normally a plastic ring or something else cheap, yet child-pleasing), but I associated that bitch with pain. I got shots when I went to the doctor. In my head, I seem to recall getting an immunization shot in my foot once, but that can’t be right, can it? Dr. Bitch also cut a wart out of my foot once when I was about 7, and I’m pretty damn sure that she didn’t use anesthetic. If she did, I sure as hell felt a lot of pain, so we’ll add incompetence to Dr. Bitch’s sadistic nature.
I don’t remember a lot about it - if I haven’t told you before, I’m really good at blocking out pain or bad memories. (I can’t remember most of my three years in Catholic school for this reason.) I remember being told that I had a plantars wart on my foot, and not knowing what the hell that was. I remember going to Dr. Bitch’s office and her examining it, saying she wanted to remove it. And the next thing I remember, she had a razor blade or scalpel or something and was cutting into my bare little foot. I screamed, because who the fuck wouldn’t, and she said (this part I remember clearly) “Don’t scream, Julie, you don’t want the other girls and boys to hear you.” I wanted to say “Yes! Yes, I do! I want them to know what can happen to them back here! Let them get out while they still can!” I guess my mom was in the room with me, and I can’t begin to imagine what she was going through with me crying and screaming and her not able to do anything about it. When it was all over and the wart was gone, there was a little hole in my foot that we covered with moleskin. And then I beat feet to get out of there. I don’t even remember stopping at the toy chest for my just reward.
Now it just so happens that I have another plantars wart on my foot now. I’ve been using Dr. Scholl’s to get rid of it, because I’ll be damned if anyone cuts my foot open (the medical term I believe is curretage or something like that) again. And when I checked WebMD, it said that curretage isn’t recommended for the feet, where scarring can be painful, and it isn’t as effective as the Dr. Scholl’s. Stoopid Dr. Bitch.
Seriously, is it any wonder I don’t like doctors?
“I am not down with the yelling.” January 26, 2005 ~ 3:08 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedI actually just told someone in my office this. I think my exact words, after she asked me to repeat myself for the third time were “I am not yelling this stuff so you can hear me, because I’ve had a headache for two damn weeks. I am not down with the yelling.” At which point, she muttered something under her breath. I don’t much care, she’s a trouble employee who doesn’t pull her weight, and she’s moody right now because we’re calling her on it.
But hey, guess what? My replacement handset for my cell phone came this morning. It didn’t come sooner because some dumbass at T-Mobile wrote down that I needed a replacement battery, not handset. So now I’ve got the replacement handset and two batteries. I am awesome. And do you know what the most annoying ringtone in the world is? A Hi-Fi ringer of The Darkness’s “I Believe In a Thing Called Love.” That’s right, Hi-Fi ringers enable us to hear the lead singer, in all his Tiny Tim sound-alike glory, singing “I believe in a thing called loooove! Juuust liiisten to the ryyythm of my heaaart!” Over and over and over again, because while Hi-Fi ringers have high quality sound, they don’t last too long, I guess because of the amount of memory it would take. So they’re often looped. I was tempted to download a William Shatner ringtone, but that looped would have just been too much, ya know?
“Dude, what is wrong with you??” January 25, 2005 ~ 11:09 am
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedLori just sent me an email, and the title above was the only thing in it. I laughed, because I was thinking the same damn thing.
I’ve had headaches for days now, possibly weeks, I don’t know for sure. I generally just work through them, or sleep them off, occasionally remembering that there is such a thing as Advil and taking it. Half the time I just don’t remember to take it, it’s not a conscious choice. I think my headaches are tension headaches. They’re generally in the front of my head, often right behind my eyes, and they throb. Not so awful that I can’t work, just annoying in their pain. Yesterday when I was home, I took two Advil liqui-gels when I realized the headache was back. A couple hours later, the headache wasn’t gone, so I took two more, then laid down and took a nap.
When I woke up, my headache was gone and the F train was running again, so I headed into Manhattan to see Rick. All was well for a few hours, then as we went to sleep, I suddenly couldn’t get comfortable. I was too hot, I was too cold, the blankets were too heavy, then there weren’t enough of them. I finally went to the bathroom just in time to puke. “What the fuck is this?” I asked myself. “I only ate ramen and toast today (and 6 chocolate chip cookies, but who’s counting)!” I didn’t have a fever. I hadn’t been feeling sick prior to the puking. In fact, I had been a little hungry, but I didn’t want to eat something at midnight, so I just went to bed instead. Ramen doesn’t give us food poisoning - was it taking four Advils in so short a period of time? The puking returned two more times in the middle of the night, and the chills and hot spells didn’t vanish till about 4 this morning. Rick sat up with me through most of it, God bless him, even though I wouldn’t let him in the bathroom. And this morning I still feel like crap, but I came into work because I have to compile the February list of graduates, which is due today.
Or so I thought until my boss said “Oh, I told them we’d have it done on Friday.” Thanks for informing me of that, dammit. I would’ve stayed home in bed. Instead, I’m sitting at my desk, drinking the bottle of flat Coke that Rick gave me, thinking “Dude, what is wrong with me??” It can’t be normal to get puking sick three times in a month without benefit of alcohol, can it? And what the fuck is up with the headaches? Maybe I need to see a doctor. Then again, knowing the doctors that my health plan covers, maybe not.
Staring down the barrel January 24, 2005 ~ 11:36 am
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedDepression has really crashed down on me the past few days. Between work, rehearsal, the weather, and the Steelers losing, I’ve hit a low. And poor Rick was in the middle of it. I can put up a good front for the kids, but Rick always looks at me and wants to know “What’s wrong?” I don’t like to talk about “what’s wrong.” I don’t want to think about “what’s wrong.” Just let me cry and get it out, and then I’ll go back to normal. Because if I think about the stress that I’m under on a daily basis, and the things that are pissing me off, I’ll be angry and crying for a good long time. And that will just stress me out more, a gigantic never-ending cycle. Just let me blow off a little steam, and then go back to putting one foot in front of the other.
I don’t like crying. It’s easier to hold everything in, keep it under control. Because when I burst into tears, it’s hard to get back on track. It throws me. For days afterwards, little things can make me cry. Last night my subway line wasn’t working, so I had to go wait in the cold for a bus. And then walk about 6 blocks home from the bus stop through unplowed streets and sidewalks when I was already freezing. I cried. After the Steelers lost, I cried. And then I heard that Jerome Bettis (my favorite Steeler, hands down) is considering retiring, and I cried. Poor guy hasn’t made it to the Super Bowl yet because he’s stuck with the Steelers. And he’s good, one of the best players out there. He deserves a shot at the Super Bowl. After the game, I watched Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and I cried again, because I could totally see myself snapping at someone like Vivi does because she’s just overwhelmed. It’s insane. I’m insane. Something’s insane.
Today my subway is still out of commission, and I have no other way to get to work (my friends call this living in “F Exile”), so I’m home. I’ve been chatting with Lori, watching TV, and knitting. Feeling a little better. But I’m still at the point where if something doesn’t go according to plan (as something didn’t this morning in a conversation with Rick), I cry. I know it’s stupid, but it’s annoying the fuck out of me. I’m tired of crying. I just want to put one foot in front of the other again. Maybe I’ll got make lunch. That’ll be something to focus on.
Sorry for the ramble, kids. Next time will be better, I hope.
Tightrope January 21, 2005 ~ 4:13 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedYou know, it’s a weird tightrope we walk when we get involved with someone. On the one hand, there’s this sense of relief that you’ve got someone and you can “settle down” (whatever that means), but on the other, you’re never really secure because you’ve always got someone’s feelings to think about. You’ve literally got someone’s heart in your hand, and you have to be careful with it. And if the person who was holding that heart before you wasn’t as careful with it as they should have been, it raises the tightrope another 20 feet. And sometimes takes away the safety net. Is it any wonder that some of us are afraid of heights?
There’s another tightrope when your significant other has kids from a previous relationship. On the one side, you get to hang out with the kids and get to play at being parent or whatever. You get to give them back when they get out of control or you’re tired or whatever. But you don’t really have the right to tell your significant other “Well, this is what I think you should do with them,” because you’re not actually the parent. You don’t get to make decisions.
The whole thing is just a giant pain in the ass sometimes. But you wouldn’t give it up for anything.
mini-post January 21, 2005 ~ 1:15 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedAfter not posting for two days, the thoughts are coming fast and furious. I may do a series of mini-posts today. Keep checking back. Boys may want to skip this post, tho.
The last time I told you all about how my period was fucked up because I did something that physicians tell you you can do, Richard Lee (he doesn’t believe me) and skipped the placebo week of my Pill, I got a call from my mother.
Mom: I raised you better than to talk about your period in public.
Julie: Mom, it’s a blog. They don’t know me. They don’t care. And if they did know me, I would still tell them about how my period is fucked up because no-one-on-earth-should-have-a-period-that-lasts-eleven-days-and-I-have -to-talk-about-it.
Mom agreed that I probably would, because I have no shame. And because I have no shame, I will tell you that I have reached the point in the Pill cycle where I’m supposed to have my period and boy am I having a period. I haven’t had cramps like this in years. Since before I started the Pill, actually. And the bleeding. I think this explains why I’ve been tired lately. I’m bleeding to death, and it’s tiring to bleed to death.
You know, this sounded a lot funnier when I was thinking it in my head. And yes, Mom, I’ll be expecting your call.
Friday Julie January 21, 2005 ~ 10:15 am
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedWell, it’s been a confusing, crowded, and crazy couple of days (so sue me, I like alliteration). I’m not going to go into details, but I’m working to mend a bridge I’d thought was burnt, and all seems to be going well. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
It’s 9 fucking degrees out. Oh, wait, now it’s 10. We’ve hit double digits. But 10 degrees is still fucking cold. We’ve got heat back in my office, and The Draft isn’t bad right now, but they will still have to pry my Steelers hoodie off of my cold, lifeless body to get me to stop wearing it today. I’m blaming it on casual Friday and the fact that my big boss isn’t here.
See the stuff you just read? I wrote that a half hour ago. In between that time and this, I’ve talked to Rick, talked to my boss, chased some documentation down, and worked on three degree audits. And lost my train of thought. Where the hell was I going with this?
Oh, I remember, an “I did this, I did that” post.
I wrote my first grant application this week. Or at least I answered a lot of stupid questions to apply for a grant. My big boss wants us all to go to a conference of Registrars that’s being held in Manhattan in March, but we need funding to go to it (because I’m not a minority, my registration fee is $495. I beg to differ with them. How many natural redheads do you see? I am a minority, baby). I was the only one in my office with enough skillz to just copy what was on the Conference website onto the grant application. I polished it up a little to fit my needs, but it’s basically what was on the website. Glad to know those college writing skillz I picked up are still usable. And is now being used by the five of us applying for grants in this office. Right now, I am the Office Hero, bay-bee.
I did laundry last night. I did not wash any handheld electronics. It was a good night. But I seriously need to buy new underwear. I hate having to do laundry every week. So overrated.
Yesterday was Mr. Bush’s inauguration, or as some buttons I like are calling it, the beginning of “Four Moron Years.” I spent Not One Damn Dime in protest. It probably wasn’t even registered by the fat cats, but it made me feel a little better. So did ignoring the news all day. In fact, last night to go in completely the opposite direction of the news, I watched Bring It On and The Apprentice. I could feel brain cells being lost. And hey, have you heard that The Donald wants to bring The Apprentice to Broadway as a musical? How the hell is that going to work? Is someone different going to get fired at every performance? Multiple endings, kind of like The Mystery of Edwin Drood? Wait, that could be good. If he actually uses that idea, you know he stole it from me.
And last but not least, my mom sent me a Ben Roethlisberger jersey that got here today. I’m wearing it tomorrow - I have to wear the Bettis jersey on Sunday for the game, because I’m superstitious like that. Thanks, Mom!
Draft January 19, 2005 ~ 1:25 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closed
Greenwood Cemetery, Brooklyn
Amazing how I write the word “Draft” and you probably thought “Hey! A post about the war and the Bush Administration!” I don’t blame you. Someday, I might write a post about that. Right now I can’t because I’m too fucking cold. Because I’m sitting in a draft. Yeah, the other kind of draft. The kind of draft that is caused when the asshole who installed the airconditioners in the windows leaves a gap between said airconditioner and said window. Which means that there is icy cold wind blowing through the window across my desk, freezing my little fingers as I type. And making the leaves on my poor baby ficus tree shiver. Poor ficus tree.
Today isn’t as bad as yesterday, overall. Yesterday we had no heat at all for a good part of the day. And when it kicked on, it took a long time to fill the room. But yesterday, there was also no draft. Today is much more windy. And so while the heat is on, it doesn’t stand a chance against the draft. I feel like I ought to be capitalizing that. Oooooh, The Draft! Scary! Watch out for The Draft!! Actually, that works in the Bush sense of that word, too, doesn’t it?
So today, for the second day, my officemates and I are all still wearing layers. We’re not wearing hats today, but you bet your ass I haven’t taken my hoodie off yet. Or my armwarmers. I don’t give a damn if advertising the Pittsburgh Steelers while wearing armwarmers isn’t appropriate office apparel for a supervisor. Being frozen out of my work environment isn’t appropriate either.
I’ll be glad when it’s lunchtime and I can leave The Draft behind for the warmth of the local Wendy’s. Mmmmm…chilli!
