Minor Irritations April 11, 2005 ~ 1:15 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closed
The next-to-last picture of the Gates. I know Steph is excited.
Things that have irked my taters in the past 48 hours. No specific order.
1.) While hiking, forgetting that my legs are a full foot shorter than yours, thus meaning I can’t move as quickly as you can, particularly when you easily step over fallen logs that come up to my thighs. Scrambling takes extra time. And no, you didn’t slow down.
2.) Referring to me as your “friend, Julie” in a note to your aunt. I am not your friend, I am your girlfriend. There is a difference, as we have discussed on numerous occasions in the past. It involves sex, love, and how well you know me, among other things. Next time I introduce you, I will refer to you as my friend and see how you like it.
3.) My blood sugar crashing because I hadn’t eaten all day, and the nausea that accompanied it, making it impossible for me to eat anything due to the fear that it would come back up. You’d think you didn’t want me to feed you, Stomach, and I know that was not the case. You keep this shit up, and no one is going to want you as an organ donation when I die.
4.) Not only don’t take my advice when I offer it (which is understandable), but totally ignore what I have just said and do what you were going to do anyway, without informing me. Part of the decision involved me. And my stomach. This is not understandable, and downright irritating. My stomach and I don’t like being disregarded. We like the courtesy of an explanation, at the very least.
5.) Piss on the couch while I am cleaning your goddamned litterbox, you fucking cat. Can’t you see that I am trying to help you out here? We have two litterboxes, you could have used the other one, held it, or pissed on the fucking floor. Why you think that the couch doubles as another litterbox is totally fucking beyond me. As is why I keep you after you piss on it, especially since you always piss when I have no time to clean up after your furry ass. Your brother doesn’t piss on everything. Chill the fuck out, cat.
6.) After all of this, to be reminded that I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. Because it’s not enough that I’ve dealt with the rest of this, nooo. I have to go to the dentist to visit with sado-hygenist, who will merrily inform me that my enamel didn’t form right or some such shit, and thus I am doomed to a life of cavities, all while she blasts away at my gums with the water pik.
One word: Beatdown.
