On the ball August 31, 2005 ~ 10:09 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedSo, I was frantically tearing my house apart tonight looking for a check that I can now cash (it was dated today), when I run across something from my bank. It’s been hanging around a few days, first in a pile on my kitchen table, now in a pile on my office floor. I open it, see that it’s dated August 19 (*ahem* when I’m in rehearsal, mail gets ignored), and then see that I will be receiving a new debit card.
Yeah, that’s right, they were going to send me a new debit card seven days before the Seafood Eaters painted Maryland red with my stolen debit card number. Why were they going to give me a new debit card? Because they had “been informed of a situation that affects the security of your debit card. The computer system of a card payment processor for merchant transactions has had a security breach, and your debit card number is among those that may have been compromised.”
Right again, they knew someone had gotten my debit card number. However, “as of the date of this letter, we have no indication that there has been unauthorized use of your account.” The new card was being sent “simply as a pre-emptive security measure.”
So what, am I now getting two cards in the mail? The card this letter was informing me I was going to get and a new one to replace the one that the Seafood Eaters got? Or is the new one superseding the old one? I hope the latter is the case, because I don’t want to do anymore running around because of this. And now I’m a little less impressed with my bank calling me at 6 PM on Saturday to let me know what the Seafood Eaters were up to, because they had a tip-off. I still appreciate them calling me, but I’m not as impressed. Except with Chris-at-the-bank. I’m still impressed with him, because he got my money back. Thank you, Chris-at-the-bank! Just because I’m a little irritated with your employers doesn’t mean I think less of you!
I semi blame myself, since I never read the letter from the bank. I keep up with my bank balance online, so sometimes I don’t read bank correspondence right away. Bad Julie. Now the letter is like 20/20 hindsight. Except there is nothing I could have done differently, I just might have been a little more prepared for the bad news. So forget the 20/20 hindsight comparison. It’s not like that.
Two good things have come out of this. Obviously, Dallas BBQ did not steal my debit card number (although the bank never does mention where the security breach occurs in the letter). So Rick and I can eat there again. And according to the letter, my new debit card will feature a snazzy “new skyline card design.” Hey, that’s fun! I think they know that I’m amused by small, shiny objects, and are betting this will take my mind off the pain in the ass of identity theft. They may be right.
Damn you, Michael Bloomberg! August 31, 2005 ~ 2:44 pm
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I’m marking the end of summer with a photo from the beginning of it: unless I’m mistaken, that’s Coney Island’s “mayor” Dick Zigun playing the drum at the 2005 Mermaid Parade.
New York City has some great institutions…and I’m not talking about the museums, the theaters, the colleges, or anything on Wall Street. I’m talking about traditions that have become New York institutions. The Mermaid Parade is one of them. Tax-Free Week is another.
Every year, to celebrate the fact that we pay through the nose on anything we buy here, we get a tax-free week on clothing. In effect, as long as the clothing costs less than $110, we get to buy it tax-free, without adding that 8.625%.
I, of course, have no freaking debit card this week, and you can’t write checks here with out-of-state IDs. And you want to know what the kicker is? Apparently YARN is tax-free this week, too, since you can use it to make clothes. Fuuuuuuuuuck.
Money In The Bank! August 30, 2005 ~ 3:26 pm
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The Afghan From Hell, looking very dapper against the Piss Crusader’s Couch Condom.
Before I get to the main part of this post, I have to say that The Youngest turned 10 yesterday, so Happy Birthday to my favorite 10-year-old! I would tell you what I got her, but she might stumble across the blog and I’d hate to ruin the surprise.
Now, the happy happy happy news in my world: Chris-at-the-bank is a golden god. I have Money In The Bank today and can pay bills! And the reason Money In The Bank is capitalized isn’t just because it’s a very good thing, but because every time I say that phrase, I think of my great-aunt Marge, who died a few years back.
Marge was always a trip, always wanting to hang out with her great-nieces and nephews when she saw us (not very often for my cousins and I, since Marge and her sister Edith lived in Florida and I lived in Pennsylvania). Her sister, Edith, was a grouch with a sarcastic sense of humor that I grew to appreciate, but that scared the shit out of me when I was young. Edith always snapped at us, Marge always laughed with us. Who would you want to hang out with?
By the time I was in grad school, Marge had full-blown Alzheimer’s and Edith’s health was going downhill as well, so my mom and I went to visit them one 4th of July. (Let’ s just pause so you can absorb that. 4th of July, in Florida. It’s Hell on earth.) While we were there, I got to see the funny parts of Alzheimer’s, the parts that leave you laughing and then wondering if you should be laughing at a sick person.
Marge and I went through her jewelry box on afternoon as she picked out items she wanted me to have. We went through that box three times, because she couldn’t remember that we had just gotten finished going through it, and I wasn’t about to tell her we had. The first time we went through the box, she told me about all the pieces, but didn’t really see anything she thought I would like, and said several items were “junk.” The second time she went through the box, some of the “junk” miraculously turned into “good jewelry” and she gave me it. By the third time we went through the box, all of the junk was good jewelry, and she loaded me up with it. Some of it really was junk (did I really need costume jewelry from the 70’s? No.), but I kept it because Marge wanted me to and Mom and Edith okayed it. I wear it sometimes, too, because she was worried that she was giving me something I would never use. I can still hear her muttering under her breath about “people never wearing jewelry they’re given” every time I wear a ring of hers.
But the real fun of the visit was the afternoon Marge’s Social Security check came in. The first time she opened the envelope, she got really excited. “Ooooh, I’ve got money in the bank!” she exclaimed with a big grin. She put the envelope to the side and started doing something else…probably playing solitaire (something she and my grandmother were both great for everytime their hands were empty). About five minutes later, she gets tired of solitaire, looks over and sees the envelope. She looks in it, and with that same big grin, exclaimed “Ooooh, I’ve got money in the bank!” She put it aside and picked up the cards again. Five minutes later…you guessed it: “Ooooh, I’ve got money in the bank!” After about two more repeats of this my mom and I were laughing hard, and Edith was pissed enough to take the envelope away and say something snarky. I don’t remember what the hell Edith said, but I’ll remember “Ooooh, I’ve got money in the bank!” till I die.
And today I say with a big grin on my face, “Ooooh, I’ve got Money In The Bank!”
The light at the end of the tunnel August 29, 2005 ~ 3:24 pm
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Did I ever show you guys the Afghan From Hell? (Leenie, do not look at your overdue birthday/graduation/divorce present! You’ll see it in a month.)
The whole “someone stole my debit card number” situation is still more than just a little surreal to me, but after a long talk with my new best friend, Chris-at-the-bank this morning, I’m feeling better about the whole situation. He said it’s looking like my money should be back in my account by tomorrow, and if I don’t see it by tomorrow morning I should call him and he’ll fix it. See why Chris-at-the-bank is my new best friend?
Chris-at-the-bank also told me that the people who got my card number didn’t swipe the magnetic strip info on my card as well. Basically what he thinks happened was that someone wrote down my debit card number and sold it to a place that makes bogus cards. A bogus card was made with a “damaged” strip so that when it was used, they would be unable to swipe the thing, they would have to punch in the info. The bogus card most likely didn’t even have my name on it, just the number and a random name.
Chris-at-the-bank gave me a tour into the shady this morning, for which I would like to thank him. Chris, you may have my firstborn child in return for your diligence. And I’m keeping an eye on those people at Dallas BBQ from now on, because that was the last place I used my debit card before it got swiped. Damn them and their cheap margaritas and humongous portions of rotisserie chicken for $5!
Identity Theft…it’s not just for breakfast anymore. August 27, 2005 ~ 6:35 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedDid you know that you can spend over $650 at a seafood restaraunt in Maryland? I didn’t, until I got a call from my bank about 45 minutes ago. They wanted to know if I had been in Maryland today. I told them no…in fact I was at rehearsal in Manhattan.
Apparently someone got hold of my debit card number and went to town on seafood in Maryland. Then they bought gas (thank you, Asshat, for getting into a war that raised gas prices so that my identity thieves could bankrupt me). Then they went to TJ Maxx, and that’s where the card was declined, because I only had $750 in my checking account to start with.
My bank tells me that I’m not liable for any of this. They’ve cancelled the card, and I’ll be getting the money refunded in 7-10 days. A new card is on its way to me. Monday I will stop by my branch of the bank and talk to them about getting money to pay the bills which are coming due, so that I am not without electricity, or phone and internet, or racking up late fees on my credit cards. The bank is already looking for the person who stole my numbers, and they will be prosecuting them.
I hope that they find the people who did this and rain death down upon their asses. Because right now I just feel so goddamned victimized that I can’t even begin to describe it. I will be drinking several beers more tonight and passing out early. In the meantime, even though I only have $15 cash to my name right now (I’m budgeting, of course), I am happy that I have a fridge full of groceries and plenty of cat litter. I still have no idea how these assholes got my debit card number, so I am still scared. And suddenly those Citibank identity theft commercials aren’t so funny anymore.
But I guess I’ll be okay, because even while I was sobbing on the phone to the guy from my bank, I was able to see humor in the situation. I mean, really, how in the fuck can you spend over $650 at a seafood restaurant? Were they feeding the whole Brady Bunch on caviar, or what?
This is what you get for being snarky August 26, 2005 ~ 7:51 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedStole this from Mama Moon:
The Goddess Death: Dark, morbid, appropriately
represented by the color black and the element
water. Death is reserved, intellectual,
introspective. Rarely does she do anything
requiring a lot of energy or display of emotion
– but when she does, anyone within a few
planes would do well to duck and cover.
Which Goddess Owns You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Entertainment August 25, 2005 ~ 4:55 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedYou know what you get when you sign a petition that gets delivered to the White House? You get this automated response:
“On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence.
We appreciate hearing your views and welcome your suggestions.
The President is committed to continuing our economic progress,
defending our freedom, and upholding our Nation’s deepest values.
Due to the large volume of e-mail received, the White House cannot
respond to every message. Please visit the White House website
for the most up-to-date information on Presidential initiatives,
current events, and topics of interest to you.
Thank you again for taking the time to write.”
My automated virus scan flagged that automated message as “SUSPECT.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Scary Shit August 24, 2005 ~ 3:31 pm
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedWe all know that the bankruptcy laws are changing in October to fuck over you and me and Joe Average. But what I didn’t know until this morning was that my credit card payments are going to go up in October, too. So are yours. So are Joe Average’s. Read the whole story from Daily Kos here, and then join me in panicing and wondering how in the fuck I am going to survive this.
And I was just congratulating myself that our visit to the vet was only $77 last night. Fuuuuuuuck.
Whack Jobs August 24, 2005 ~ 10:08 am
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Greenwood Cemetery, Brooklyn
I was going to post a happy little thing about the stuff I got the girls for their birthdays (two weeks apart, Rick, you should have planned that better so that we wouldn’t go broke in September and December). Then I decided to scrap that in favor of writing about the poo-flinging monkeys my co-workers, who are annoying the shit out of me this week by proving that they never learn how to do anything correctly, they just pretend that they do to lull me into a false sense of security. You may still get a post about them, because at this rate, one of the monkeys will be dead before the week is out. I just have to decide which one to kill with the laser beams that are now shooting out of my eyes from rage (thanks to Dooce for that imagery).
However, on the way into work, I read the newspaper. Ah, the newspaper, fodder for my rants. Freddie Mercury once announced “I feel a little boogie coming on†before Queen played “Another One Bites the Dust.†Well, I feel a little ranting coming on.
This morning’s paper featured two equally heinous things. One was Pat Robertson, or as the paper I read has re-christened him, the Evangelinator. He has decided that the answer to our oil problems is to assassinate Venezuela’s president. Two words: whack job. (As in, Robertson’s a fucking nut, not “we should whack that guy Chavez.â€) On the other hand, the amount of scrambling the White House is currently doing to distance themselves from the man who up till now has symbolized Bush’s support base is pretty fucking funny. As was Rumsfeld’s comment on the situation: “Certainly it’s illegal.†But in the back of my head, I realize that the Evangelinator isn’t a total whack job, because he was just supporting a position our government has taken before. They put people into office; they take them out of office when that person is no longer an advantage. If they hadn’t done it before, would Gerald Ford have had to make political assassination illegal in the 1970s? No.
The other newspaper item which wasn’t nearly so funny or as true was that Asshat has shot his mouth off about Cindy Sheehan, saying that she doesn’t represent the opinions of other military families. All right, Asshat, in one respect you are right: she is not an elected official for military families, so she doesn’t represent them. But if other military families didn’t agree with what she’s doing, would she have so many supporters? How dare you infer (do you know that word, Asshat?) that other military families don’t think you’re wrong! How in gay hell can you be so fucking sheltered that you don’t realize people hate your war and hate what you’re doing to their kids? Oh, wait, you’ve spent most of the summer vacationing on your little ranch, where you don’t have to hear anything you don’t want to hear. Asshole.
Civilization Comes to the Ghetto August 22, 2005 ~ 2:35 pm
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Starbucks Oasis
See that? It’s a Starbucks. In the middle of the ghetto otherwise known as “right off campus.” How do you know that your college is “ghetto”? Generally, you can tell this when an 8′ iron fence surrounds the campus and you have to show an ID to get on campus. Also, when the surrounding environs are filled with low-income housing and the nearest intersection, where most of the food joints and pharmacies are (since pharmacies and food are the only local industries you will see), is piled high with garbage. But hey, it’s a college, it needs a Starbucks! I’m betting this place will be jammed next week when classes start, and I will be headed over there sometime in the near future.
Next on the slate for our little corner of the ghetto: a Target. The only store that would make me forget how much I hate this job sometimes. Progress is a beautiful thing, kids.
