Shady Gene has a new squirrel. January 31, 2008 ~ 5:00 pm
Posted by Julie in : In Da Hood, Urban Family , comments closedI have talked about my friend Eugene off and on here, mostly to describe why we call him Shady Gene - he disappears on trips for weeks at a time without telling us, and then comes back and says “Oh, I just got back from Geneva,” among other reasons. I mean, wtf? Who does that? Especially when they’re not independently wealthy? We think Gene has a sugarmama in Europe. Or he’s with the CIA. We’re not sure which.
Aaaanyway, several years back, he had a pet squirrel. And by pet, I mean, squirrel he trained to come into his house off the street. A New York City squirrel in his house. And in the course of time, Rocky disappeared and we all figured he’d gotten run down by a car or eaten some rat poison, or some other hideous fate that city squirrels can avoid for only so long.
Two weeks ago, Eugene emails me at work to tell me he has a new squirrel. Rocky II. And Rocky II has a girlfriend, and he brings the girlfriend to Gene’s window, but she won’t come in the apartment, only Rocky II, and…well, you see that this is another reason why we call him Shady Gene. I think he was one of those kids that just brought home every stray animal he found and he’s never outgrown it.
So without further ado, I present you with Rocky II (Eugene made these titles up, I had nothing to do with them. He’s twisted.)
One off January 30, 2008 ~ 3:13 pm
Posted by Julie in : Random Insanity , comments closedYesterday I was eating a Fun Size Milky Way and noticed a little disclaimer on the wrapper: “May contain nuts.” Wouldn’t that make it a Snickers bar?
Not suitable for mass transit January 29, 2008 ~ 4:38 pm
Posted by Julie in : Reviews , comments closedLast night while cruising around iTunes, I noticed that I could download the first season of Showtime’s The Tudors. I had seen an episode during a free weekend and that in addition to my love of history meant I was on that like white on rice. I downloaded them all overnight and when I was able to find a seat on the bus this morning, took out my iPod and tuned in.
I had forgotten that 1.) this was a show about Henry VIII, and 2.) this was produced by Showtime. What that means, in case you’re not familiar with either, is that there is sex in the show. And while I certainly don’t have a problem watching tasteful Showtime sex to advance character development, I’m not so enthused by realizing that the Neanderthal squeezed in next to me is quite interested and watching it over my shoulder. At this point, I should have turned to him and said “Excuse me, this is as rude as reading over my shoulder,” but I wasn’t thinking that quickly. Instead, I put a thumb over the screen to hide the naughty bits that Henry was so intent on exposing.
They ought to put a warning on these videos. Instead of “Not Suitable for All Audiences” it should be “Not Suitable to Watch on Mass Transit if You Don’t Want to Turn and See The Guy Next to You Has a Hard-On.” Yuck.
Definite yarnivorous behavior January 28, 2008 ~ 2:58 pm
Posted by Julie in : Craftiness Is Next To Godliness, Da Cats , comments closedWhen Joe the cat was little, he was a hellion. Destructo kitty #1. During his young life, he was notably responsible for breaking a Depression glass punchbowl (valued at $200 at the time of its demise) and destroying an entire freezer full of meats and frozen goods because he accidentally unplugged it. In July. And if you don’t know what rotting meat smells like when you discover it after the freezer has been out of commission for three days in high summer, consider yourself blessed. I will never forget that smell as long as I live.
Fortunately for Joe, we allowed him to live after these escapades and he outgrew his youthful antics. Or so I thought until Saturday, when I put down the sock I was knitting for a quick trip to the bathroom. When I returned, it was to this:
Click on the photo for notes, but the breakdown is as follows. The little fucker chewed through the yarn while I was taking a piss. Note that he kindly left me with about fourteen inches, a full eight of which was covered with slime which had obviously gone down his little kitty esophagus before being horked back up. Since I know how to do a Russian join and could fix this pretty easily, it was more of an inconvenience than anything else, but one little black cat in Brooklyn nearly lost his life this weekend. As it is, I cut off the slimed yarn, fixed it, and Joseph Thomas and I had a little Come to Jesus talk. I don’t think he’ll be touching yarn again.
So, last week I promised finished objects. Here they are (behind the cut):
Photo roundup. January 25, 2008 ~ 11:15 am
Posted by Julie in : Daily Grind , comments closedAs promised, there were many pictures taken on my vacation. A lot of them were of my knitting. I will get to those on Monday, along with the pictures of my sister-in-law’s birthday necklace. Most of the Florida pictures are nature-oriented, because I have a ton of pictures from the last time I went to Disney I took a million pictures and what have I ever done with them? Nothing. Not making that mistake again. You can tell that I am the main photographer in my relationship with Rick, because there is exactly one picture of me from Florida, and it’s not a good one (Rick’s glasses and the viewfinder on my camera do not a happy combination make). That’s okay by me, I know I was there.
So, behind the cut, photos. (more…)
Story time. January 24, 2008 ~ 12:40 pm
Posted by Julie in : Story Time , comments closedLet me tell you a sad story. There was a woman who lived in Brooklyn, where it was cold. And dark. And generally winter-like. And she got to go to Florida where her boyfriend was, and where the place she stayed had a heated pool and tiny lizards and lots of beer and fun people to hang out with. And she totally lost track of the days and chilled and even got to wear shorts a few days without being cold. She didn’t even mind the day they took her to play golf because she was so relaxed and having so much fun. And on the day she had to fly back to Brooklyn, they made it to the beach and it was 76* and there had been a storm the night before so the picture-taking was grand and she even saw a sea urchin and found some sand dollars. And she was blissfully happy. And then she had to catch a flight back home and when she got back to Brooklyn she had to put her shorts away and dig out her parka and go back to work. It sucked. And her boyfriend still got to be in Florida for another week. And Heath Ledger was dead. The end.
Pictures to come tomorrow, when I have more successfully dealt with my re-entry.
Finished by the skin of my teeth January 15, 2008 ~ 3:00 pm
Posted by Julie in : Craftiness Is Next To Godliness, Rick, The Girls , comments closedLast night I learned something. Sea Silk that has been dyed red? Bleeds red when you wash it. After three soaks and a final bath with a bit of white vinegar, I think I’ve stopped the bleeding. I wrote on the little note that accompanied the shawlette that it might need another vinegar bath and maybe she should think about not wearing it over white shirts at first as a caveat. Wouldn’t want to ruin any clothes with it.
As far as the fuck-up I wrote about yesterday goes…I don’t think she’ll notice it. She is not a knitter, and the chevron pattern combined with the variations in hue and the drapey nature of silk mean that it’s not as easy to see the fuck-up as it might have been had I used another yarn.
So, without further ado, I give you the project that went out in the mail this morning. Behind the cut, of course, because there are pictures. (more…)
Vacay! January 14, 2008 ~ 12:54 pm
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey, Craftiness Is Next To Godliness , comments closedI spent the weekend knitting. And knitting, and knitting, and knitting. My sister-in-law’s birthday is today, and I wanted to give her a nice lace shawlette to wrap around her shoulders. It’s still nice, I just fucked up part of the pattern and knit it backwards. If I had the time to rip half the bloody thing out and re-knit it, I would. But alas, I’m going to Florida on Wednesday and I want to get this thing in the mail tomorrow, and um…only Allah is perfect. *sigh* Rick said something that he meant to be sweet this morning when I told him: “Well, that’s how you can tell it’s homemade.” And I, who can be utterly psychotic about my knitting when I want to be (I know, it’s hard to believe) said “But I don’t WANT it to look homemade.” And then he got really quiet and changed the subject.
And so tonight I will go home, weave in ends, wash it (it bled red all over my hands while I was knitting it, not a good sign), and block it. And tomorrow send it and the necklace I made for her. And then…then? I will only have to finish the socks I started for Lori for Christmas and I can knit for me. True vacation!
(While I was typing this, I realized that vacation is good for another reason. If I weren’t getting away? Someone in my office might die. I am that fed up with them. Happy vacation to ME!)
Our insectile president January 10, 2008 ~ 12:50 pm
Posted by Julie in : Politically Incorrect, Random Insanity , comments closedTwo posts in one day (yep, there’s another one I wrote this morning right below this one)! It’s a banner day at EvilJulie.com! But this was too good not to blog. In fact, it’s the kind of thing that was the main reason I started a blog.
Lori and I are talking about politics, about race and gender and how that plays into this Primary season for the Dems, about Gloria Steinem’s op-ed piece in the Times yesterday, and I said that I am seeing women of a certain age (Steinem’s generation, basically) who are basically saying “I’m voting for Hillary, I’m tired of men running this country!” (actually, those were my boss’s exact words about a half hour ago), and that propelled us into this:
Julie: I’m not tired of men running this country per se, I’m tired of stupid men running the country. At this point I wouldn’t care if a freakin’ cockroach ran the country as long as it was reasonably intelligent and cared about the American people and got us the hell out of the middle East.
Lori: Cockroaches are not good public speakers though.
Julie: This is true. And as many people are swayed by the candidate’s looks, that would be two strikes against the cockroach right there.
Lori: The little one doesn’t have a prayer.
Julie: Yeah, someone will bust out a can of Raid and assassinate our insect president.
Ouch January 10, 2008 ~ 10:19 am
Posted by Julie in : Academic Office Monkey, Assorted Ailments , comments closedAll the stress at work is starting to wear on my physically. I typically carry my stress in my neck and shoulders, and we’ve gotten to epic proportions right now - I can barely turn my head to see over my shoulder on either side. According to Skippy, I’m also grinding my teeth so the TMJ is acting up. The teeth grinding is funny if you think about it: the job that makes me grind my teeth and damage them is the same job that gives me shit dental insurance so that if I do damage them, I have to pay for it out of pocket. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
I’ve scheduled at appointment with a massage therapist for after work tomorrow night in the hopes that they can work some of this out. The trip to Florida next week should also help. Because if I’m not allowed to kill some of the people I work with (and I’m pretty sure that’s in the campus handbook, the no killing co-workers rule), then at least I can escape them for a week. And it will be good. Until I have to come back.
